WEBB WEAVER & HIS UNDER-ACHIEVERS "Dumber Than F**K" Rare Obscure Vinyl ROCKABILLY / HOT ROD / SURF

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#vinylrecords #obscurerecords #rockabilly #funnysongs #surfmusic
From the HITS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION Files:
Where do I even start with the story on this one?.....
Back in 1966, young Wendel Deadtree was looking forward to the new school year. Unlike other boys his age, he didn't enjoy summer. It was too hot and he didn't enjoy the outdoors or sports. At the age of 16, he was already preparing for an adulthood spent with horn-rimmed glasses on his nose and a pocket-protector tucked in his white, button down shirt and clip-on tie. He spent his days at the library reading technical manuals and the occasional "Sci-Fi/Fantasy" pulp magazine. It was in one such of these publications that something caught young Wendel's eye. For only $10, the advertisement in the back of the mag said you could send your hand-penned poetry and have it turned into a wonderful, professionally recorded song. Wendel had an idea and a dream...both of which wouldn't turn out as he had planned.
At the end of the past school year, one of the cheerleaders for the school football pep rally squad had actually spoken to Wendel. He was completely taken aback and in his mind he thought she said "Hello". In fact, she had said "Hell No". Be that as it may, the young man found himself being tugged away from dreams of fixing vacuum cleaners and thrust into the world of teenage love.
Wendel's idea was to write a poem for the cheerleader that he was now completely infatuated with and send it along with $10, all his savings, to the company that boasted they would turn it into irresistible, sweet music that would win the girl of his dreams. He new her name, Molly Snodgrass, and her address that he looked up in the phone book. He would have the record sent directly to her upon completion along with a message that professed his true feelings. Wendel stayed up late that Friday night and penned his lines of love and first thing Saturday morning he tucked his poem, a message and the ad along with two $5 bills into an envelope address to "Song Services" in Toledo, Ohio. Now all he had to do was wait for his love to receive the package and flock to his arms.
As it would turn out, the owner of the cheap outfit that had placed the ad was out of town visiting a "friend" and had left his teenage son in charge of answering the phone and receiving the mail. This would spell doom for Wendel's dreams.
Now the owner's son was a greasy, punk of a kid who along with this meathead friends had their own band and abused their privileges regularly by recording bawdy "hits" in his father's small studio. Their music was terrible, but they had managed to get pretty tight as a group after spending so much time messing around. The delinquent son of the studio owner opened Wendel's letter, but instead of just pocketing the $10 and throwing the rest away, his eye was caught by the sappy prose that Wendel had penned for his dream girl and upon reading his instructions for delivery of the final product, the devilish thug soon had an idea.
About 4 weeks later, the first day of the new school year was only a day away. "Surely, Molly will receive my record soon", thought Wendel. The first few days of school came and went, but there was no reaction from Molly when a shy Wendel passed her in the hallway. She too was busy carrying on with her other cheerleader friends and the captain of the football team to notice the longing glimpses of her admirer. However, about a week later on a Friday morning, there was a stir in the hallways at school. Wendel being the anti-social geek that he was, did not try to inquire what the ruckus was about. He could only think of what Molly would say when she heard his sweet poetry transformed into a wonderful ballad that would surely touch her heart. All of a sudden, as Wendel turned the hallway corner, there she was. The girl of his dreams. But instead of having the look of love in her eyes, there was a burning rage of anger. She walked up to Wendel and with one motion, slapped him to the floor and tossed a record on his chest. Wendel as horrified and paralyzed. What had happened?
When he gathered himself after a few minutes he picked up the album sleeve that now housed a cracked piece of vinyl. Wendel's eyes gazed on the cover and his knees gave out below him and he returned to the floor.
This wasn't his song....this wasn't his picture....this was.....
This was the meathead son of the owner of "Song Services" along with this meathead buddies and they had placed one of their horrible songs in the stead of Wendel's heartfelt composition. Wendel's world was shattered and he would never speak to another girl throughout high school.
On the bright side, Molly, the cheerleader who Wendel once his heart set on, wrote a letter to the return address on the record packaging. She and the meathead son of the owner inadvertently started corresponding and she would marry him 3 years later.
That's right Wendel. Nice guys do finish last.