Marry by Choice, Not by Chance: Princeton Mom Susan Patton's Expert Advice

In March 2013, Susan Patton, a Princeton graduate and a mother, ignited a media storm with her open letter urging young women to prioritize finding a spouse during their college years rather than focusing solely on their careers. Patton’s letter, published in the Daily Princetonian, was a heartfelt message to the young women of Princeton, where both of her sons attended. The letter went viral, garnering over 100 million inquiries on Google within days. Patton's advice, rooted in her own experiences and keen observations, was later expanded into her book "Marry Smart: Advice for Finding The One," and its rebranded version "Marry by Choice, Not by Chance."

Susan Patton’s journey is one of courage and resilience. As part of the fifth coeducational class at Princeton, she faced significant challenges. Her parents, survivors of Auschwitz and Bergen-Belsen, were initially opposed to her educational aspirations. Despite this, Patton applied to Princeton as an emancipated minor at the age of 17. Her determination and independence set the stage for her future endeavors.

After graduation, Patton married and had two sons, both of whom also attended Princeton. Her personal experiences and professional insights led her to speak out about the importance of planning for personal happiness with the same dedication as professional success. Patton’s message challenges modern feminist narratives, advocating for a balance between career ambitions and personal fulfillment.

In her recent interview, Patton reinforced her belief that intelligent, educated women face unique challenges in finding equally intelligent partners once they leave the academic environment. She emphasized that college years offer a unique opportunity, with a high concentration of eligible and intellectually compatible men. According to Patton, delaying the search for a life partner until after establishing a career often leads to limited prospects and disappointment.

Patton’s book provides practical advice for young women on navigating relationships and prioritizing personal fulfillment. She suggests engaging with alumni associations, religious communities, and trusted friends to meet potential partners. Her approach is about deliberate planning and recognizing the importance of personal happiness alongside professional success.

Susan Patton's views have sparked significant debate, with many appreciating her straightforward and candid perspective. Her insistence on the importance of planning for personal goals, alongside professional ones, continues to resonate with many, challenging them to rethink their approach to life and relationships.