Question & Answer #99: from Celibacy to Renunciation with a Wife & Kids

This one is a monster.
Questions include: should a celibate layman masturbate; planning for possible renunciation; alchemy; Germanic polytheism; people recognizing me on the street; hailing Brian Ruhe; the difficulty of obtaining human birth; the meaning of “bhavana”; Nirvana vs. Brahman; has ignorance existed since before time; the Buddha receiving a military education; shortness as a fruition of karma; my favorite Buddhist story; the tetralemma in Buddhist logic; strange Hindu ideas on the Internet; hypnotism; “old souls”; personal apathy; visiting temples; the ethics of euthanasia; rebirth as an irrational belief; the twelve links theory in dependent co-arising; using the Buddha’s name in vain; Mara worshippers; sacred prostitutes; experiencing sensation without pain or pleasure; Yoda vs. Master Oogway; why some Buddhists think jhana is bad; human rebirth vs. animal rebirth; the importance of a teacher; how to walk the path without a teacher; addressing monks and novices; the first rule of discipline that I broke; sexual misconduct; the importance of perception; morality without God; is ethics purely samsaric; sexual roles in decadent vs. Dharmic societies; the chicken crossing the road; does being a Buddhist affect my relationships; futanari; slandering the Triple Treasure; were suttas removed from the early Tipitaka; deities worshipped in Buddhist cultures; and renunciation for laymen.

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current blog (mostly philosophy and caustic critiques of Marxism): https://politicallyincorrectdharma.blogspot.com/
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MY BOOK, “Essays in Theravada Buddhism”: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B096ZHKY9D
ALSO, MY OTHER BOOK, “Philosophical Dharma”: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B097XGM71P/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=philosophical+dharma&qid=1624827134&s=books&sr=1-1
3rd BOOK, “Buddhist Ethics, Buddhist Practice”: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0991DQBLZ?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860