1 month ago

Prod. Instrumental187: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pjaxzw4_MC4
Suicide Hotline: https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk02sXzhV5hkRGNzogN1Xj7cqiAyXMQ%3A1588292513303&source=hp&ei=oWurXqSEEJeUtAbeoIXABQ&q=suicide+hotline&oq=suicide+hotline&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQARgBMgQIIxAnMgQIIxAnMgIIADIHCAAQFBCHAjICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADoECAAQQzoECAAQA1DeAViHF2CTJmgBcAB4AIABbYgB8gmSAQQxNC4xmAEAoAEBqgEHZ3dzLXdpeg&sclient=psy-ab

Lyrics:
Yo I wish I could control my emotions bro
So I can help with those involved
But I hope you know im no profressional
Im just suppose to listen, but i cant ignore my position

And I feel like opening up to him wont matter
Its not my battle now my emotions are all shattered
Im the adult its hard to explain on the spot
That youre so heart broken the whole week you remain in thought

With him i tried to reason
And my sanity stated depleating
He told me hes killing himself and I had to leave him
blocked him the next day after he was okay and was breathing

Of course I want him alive but i feel so greedy
I did the right thing but it still wasnt easy
Im exasted after the rage and sadness stops eating me
Youtube is my safezone this is something i need to release

I dont want anyone dead but its draining my inner peace
Hes suicidal the third time this month emotions defeated
Im sorry I blocked you its not your fault bro
Youre emotions are valid and sometimes life is aweful

And please find a therapist so you can talk it out
Because im over the interent and im not around
My therapy group told me its not worth my mental health
So im screaming at my friend but my vents dont help

he supports my channel, i wanna suport my fanbase
But theres only so much a human can take
Its a friend too, bitterness is all I can taste
And id hate to see the look on his parents faces
Cause once its done he can never erase it

(hook)

Music can be the greateast therapy
when i spit my problems kids related to me
But when kids message you saying theyre ending it all
If its for attention or not its no time to be cynical

Cause this is life or death serious but i feel manipulated
I know he needs help and maybe thats how he attains it
So after I ended my last livestream i called the suicde hotline
Told his friend to call an abulance dont want him not alive

Was gonna 302 him but he wouldnt give me his address
he told other pills and 7 percs so it added stress
Meanwhile his friend is also stressed cuz
we both want the best for him and im stressed he wouldnt fess up

He knew hed be in foster care if he called an ambulance
I didnt care i just wanted him alive and to save him
And im begging a middle schooler to handle the situation
While i blocked him already cause I couldnt even face him

I feel like im letting him down, dont wanna add extra pressure
The kids going through enough and i used drastic mesures
im sorry bro, the last thing I wanna do is tongue lash a lecture
remember telling my mom this too so she hid the knives in the dresser

And ill pray for you and support you from a distance
Because i do care too much to be persistant
And I hope you understand when you listen to the music
And change your mind before you go through with it

Because I wanna help when it doesnt effect my mental
I just got over not regreating my lifes end goal
And I want everyone to know dark clouds dont end hope
And I always had good intentions hope my friend copes

I will walk away from this so i dont bring up old wounds
So please call the hotline and dont make any bold moves
Cause i never lost a friend and im not suppose to
Id never forgive myself if you die after something i told to you

Or wasnt there for you when you tried to pull through
And im just a rapper im not bulletproof
So we both need to recover in our nogins
Please stop taking not perscribed pills it almost put you in a coffin

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