Dictatorial Premier Wins Nation’s Highest Honour

Australia’s favourite premier during the pandemic days, Chairman Daniel Andrews of the great Democratic People’s Republic of Victoria, has been awarded the nation’s highest honour receiving the coveted Companion of the Order of Australia for his significant contributions towards public health. He successfully ran the nations longest government-imposed lockdown of 262 days, with Orwellian messaging such as “Staying Apart Keeps Us Together”, and, “Vaccination Is Your Ticket”. Even the ABC was somewhat surprised by his governance: “Melbourne has become the most locked-down city on the planet”. If you were pregnant and tried to arrange an anti-lockdown rally, you were arrested. If you were old and tired and sat on a park bench, you were arrested. If you were a journalist reporting on anti-lockdown protests, you were arrested. So much for “violence against women”. The Victorian Stasi had free rein! And this is the guy they awarded the nation’s highest honour for his service to Victoria? What a joke.

It’s not just me questioning this. Even SBS are reporting, “Calls for Daniel Andrews to be stripped of King’s Birthday honours”.

It begs the question, how do they decide who receives these honours? Well, the Council for the Order of Australia are the independent body which sign off on these awards. Anybody who’s an Australian citizen can be nominated. But guess who the council’s Victorian representative is. A one Jeremi Moule. And “Who’s Jeremi Moule?”, I hear you ask. He’s the Secretary for the Victorian Department of Premier and Cabinet, the state’s top bureaucrat. And how did he get his job? He was appointed by a one Daniel Andrews in 2020. “Andrews 'delighted' to promote Moule to top Victorian Public Service role”. Ah, nothing to see here folks!

On receiving the award, Andrews himself said, “I am honoured to have been nominated for this AC and grateful to every Victorian who contributed to some of our state’s best times…” Ah yes, nothing like the smell of rubber bullets in the morning! I’m glad those police officers were wearing surgical masks over their chin. You never know what sort of terrible viruses might be lurking on their lower jaw. “I thank the Victorian community for their support for me and my team in leading our state for nine years. That remains the greatest honour of my life.”

Ah yes, Chairman Xi would be proud of Mr Andrews. He managed to turn a thriving western democracy into a full-blown totalitarian state. We salute you Mr Andrews. Now f*** off!

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Allégro by Emmit Fenn