Friendship Marriage: Japanese Couples Embrace Unions Without Romance or Sex

- New cohabitating relationship trend is based on shared interests and values
- Partners pursue romance outside marriage, can use artificial insemination

In a land where the cherry blossoms bloom and ninjas sneak around (probably), young people in Japan are now adopting a new type of marital relationship that requires neither love nor, ahem, any nighttime gymnastics. This trend, known as "friendship marriage," is making waves across the country. Imagine the shock on Grandma’s face at the wedding when she finds out the couple is more into board games than bedroom antics!

A whopping one percent of Japan's 124 million strong population is hopping on this bandwagon. This includes asexual individuals, homosexuals, and heterosexuals who’ve had enough of the traditional "till death do us part" script. They’re ditching the mushy stuff for a more practical approach, like finding a roommate with a legally binding contract. "Honey, did you take out the trash?" just got a whole new vibe.

According to Colorus, the self-proclaimed matchmaker for these platonic pairings, about 500 friendship marriage households have been established since its inception in March 2015. Some of these households have even raised children. Talk about taking “it takes a village” to a whole new level.

What is it?

Friendship marriage is basically "a cohabitating relationship based on shared interests and values." Think of it as marrying your trivia night buddy rather than your high school crush. The partners are legally spouses but without the mushy love letters or the awkward “who moves left” dance moves in bed. Couples might live together, or they might not. It’s like a “Choose Your Own Adventure” book, but with more paperwork.

And if they decide to have children? Well, they might just call in the help of modern science with artificial insemination. Who needs candlelit dinners when you have a turkey baster and a dream?

In these relationships, both individuals are free to chase after the butterflies elsewhere, as long as there's a mutual agreement. One member mentioned, "Friendship marriage is like finding a roommate with similar interests." Another added, “I’m not suited to be someone’s girlfriend, but I can be a good friend.” It’s like saying, “I’m not your Romeo, but I can totally help you with IKEA furniture.”

Before tying the non-romantic knot, couples usually spend hours hashing out the nitty-gritty details of their shared lives. From meal plans to splitting bills, to who gets the bigger half of the bed (or separate rooms, who knows?), these discussions might seem unromantic, but they have helped around 80 percent of couples live happily together, according to Colorus. Who needs love when you have a well-organized fridge and a clean bathroom?

Who does it?

The typical friendship marriage candidate is around 32.5 years old, with an income that's nothing to sneeze at, and about 85 percent hold a bachelor’s degree or higher. Clearly, the people in these marriages aren’t just bringing smarts; they’re bringing spreadsheets and color-coded calendars.

This trend particularly appeals to asexual individuals and homosexuals. Many asexuals, who don’t experience sexual desire, still crave connection and companionship. Homosexuals might opt for friendship marriages since same-sex marriage isn’t legal in Japan. And some heterosexual youngsters, tired of traditional marriages or romantic rollercoasters, are embracing this trend too. It’s like a quirky social club, but with marriage licenses.

Interestingly, about 75 percent of Japanese in their thirties still view marriage as a life goal. However, a 2016 survey revealed that 47.2 percent of Japanese married couples haven’t had sex in the past month. With friendship marriages, couples can enjoy companionship, tax benefits, and maybe even kids, without the pressure of keeping the spark alive. It's a win-win, or as some might say, “keeping it real while keeping it platonic.”

Outside Japan

Globally, young people are exploring relationship arrangements that stray far from the traditional path. For example, two 24-year-old women from Singapore decided to become life partners and live together in Los Angeles, sans romance. In China, a growing number of young folks are opting to buy houses and live with their BFFs.

Marriage lawyers in China have a saying for this: “More than friends, less than lovers.” A bit like finding the perfect middle ground between Netflix and chill.

And hey, a doctor with over 30 years of experience in sex education says a non-sexual marriage isn’t necessarily unhealthy or abnormal. So, if you’re tired of swiping left or right, maybe it’s time to swipe up and consider a friendship marriage. Who knew that “just friends” could be the ultimate relationship goal?