HOW A MONEY LIE BROKE TRUST IN MY 6 YEARS RELATIONSHIP.KENYA CONFESSION:PEAK93

LOVE & RELATIONSHIP CONFESSIONS.ANONIYMOUS
My Wife’s Salary Was a Mystery to me, untill I discovered How Much She was earning. In 2021
she had told me her salary was 9500 Kenya shillings, two years later she got promoted, upon
asking her about her salary raise, she dismissively disclosed a 1500 Kenya shillings raise,
making her new salary 11,000 Kenya shillings.I decided to take up all financial responsibilities in
the house without complaint, considering the 11k salary she had told me ,it seemed ok to let her
use her money in whatever she wanted.
I pay for all utilities including: food, fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their
medical bills. My wife sends me grocery lists, adds sanitary pads and buys clothes on credit, I
gladly pay for everything. She started talking about a car when our second child was born.
Financially I was not in a good position and explained the whole situation to her, however she
suggested, and we agreed,that she would take a car loan from her employer,( for clarity,the
company she works for) on conditions that I would clear the loan, when my financial plans go
well.I agreed and took that money from her, added some and got her a car. For three months
my ears would not rest from, reminders of the loan she had borrowed and how quickly she
wanted it settled. I finally got tired and took some of my business and emergency money and
cleared her loan, with a learnt lesson not repeating it.
One evening, I turned on my laptop and found a lot of emails. Upon crossing checking, I realized
my wife’s email account had been logged onto my laptop. I asked if she had used my laptop, to
which she accepted and asked me to log out on her behalf.I was about to log out when a
subject caught my attention, “January Payslip.” I opened and went through the details, to say
the least, I was shocked and angry, I did not sleep well that night and neither did I talk about it
that night.
I felt let down, cheated and played at the same time.We have been married for six good
years,my wife earned a gross salary of 75,743 Kenya shillings while lying to me and claiming
earned 11,000 Kenya shillings only.How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot, rather the clear
gesture that she did not trust me with her salary information and the puzzle of what she could
be doing with the money.I decided to take some time to cool off and not address the issue
immediately but rather do a little bit of my owninvestigation.My whole life I had held the view
that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and
it breeds mistrust in the relationship, however, Idecided to go through her phone without her
consent to find out, what was going on.
Her family has a Whatsapp group. I read the messages and got a few hints,as i read through
chats with her father more came to light. My wife had bought a piece of land and registered it
under her brother's name.She was building a home to rent, and her father was in charge of the
project. He had sent photos of various stages of construction, the building and the home.She
had bought a car and employed her elder brother as a driver to use it for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing
well for herself. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife
could be proud of the man she married. Funny enough, when we bought land, i registered her
name too as the owner,the car I bought for her with a loan, bears her name. I didn’t mind
anything I believed what is hers is also mine.
I waited till I calmed down a little, and decided to address the matter. I told her everything I had
done while her father was listening the conversation through the phone,because at first she was
reluctant and defensive, dismissively saying I had invaded her privacy. I demanded to know, why
they would do that. They both could not answer, my wife could not say why she lied to me and
did her own projects on my back.Her father called me later, morning and evening apologizing for
everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I asked
both of them to let me think about it for some time.
My father-in-law, mother-in-law, and brother-in-law visited to apologize on her behalf, and asked
us not to break our beautiful marriage, if nothing at all I consider our children and be linient in
my judgement. I gave them the very same answer, I need time and space to think about it.
Our marriage is growing more and more distant and am in turmoil, I'm weighing probable
decisions I should make, at this point what can you tell me?
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