Karen Read trial update in 4 minutes

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. This is a real messed of version of this, where neither entity is actually competent. This is their story.

Here is are our cast of characters:

John O'Keefe, Boston Police Officer and the victim of our crime.

Karen Read, a devoted girlfriend, a potentially reluctant mother by circumstances, or a baby sitter with benefits, depends on who you ask.

Brian Albert, Patriarch of the McAlbert clan. Boston Police Officer. Tough Guy. Doesn’t remember much. Serial butt dialer.

Nicole Albert, Brians’s wife. Doesn’t remember much. You would think she would be the matriarch of the McAlbert clan, but alas that would be……

Jennifer McCabe, Matriarch of the McAlbert clan. The ringleader, the instigator, the investigator, and the controller of the little circle. Nothing get’s past Jen. Seeming horrified at rather innocuous statements. Also doesn’t remember much important information. Makes a loud clicking sound before she talks. Is the Queen of the butt dialers. Holds the world record for butt dials. Her butt is so talented it can dial a number and hang up before going to voicemail.

Matt McCabe, What can you say about Matt, he’s the one that sits in that one chair in the hotel room (if you know what I mean). Bad memory. IT specialist who knows very little about how cell phones work.

Colin Albert, 1st Heir of McAlbert Clan. Bad memory. Confused by words. Lover not a fighter.

DA Lally, loyal public servant who is inflicted with the MA curse, has a low functioning brain. Tasked with impossible task of prosecuting a case with no actual evidence. Repeats phrases hundreds of times.

This and others bring to you, one of the most messed up prosecutions of the 21st Century.
#karenread