Building a Godly Family - The Husband and Wife Relationship

In today's world the family dynamic has become complicated and in some cases extremely volatile. When you decide to get married you will bring forward your learned experiences into your new family environment. These experiences coupled with our core values will shape the way our family dynamic will be developed and how it will functionally operate. Whether we choose to invite God into our homes or choose to live a worldly life. This choice is also impacted greatly by the way we were raised for example, were we raised in a home that honors the word of God and encourages/insists that we live a Godly life or were we raised in a home that never spoke of Jesus and never tried to point us to Him.

The way we were raised has a significant impact in developing our family dynamics. Of course along the way those dynamics will change as we get older and wiser especially when we add children to our family. As new parents we are in a constant state of learning. We have to learn how to raise our children. We have to learn how to navigate through life's difficult trials.

So, how do you build a better family dynamic? It all depends on who is at the core of our relationship. If we are God centered meaning God is the center of our life, then the family dynamic will function around Godly principles. It means that during our life together in marriage we will put God first. Seek God for our problem solving, seek God for comfort through our trials, seek God for our financial support, seek God for our most joyous occasions and seek God in every decision giving Him glory for all things.

Paul tells us that we must love and respect each other so we can develop that strong relationship with our family through Christ. Paul uses the analogy of Christ being married to the church, his point being, Christ is the ultimate authority over all of us including the wife. Christ is the savior for all men and women who receive the Lord's invitation to spend eternity with Him. Paul does not say husbands provide salvation to their wives. Only Jesus gives salvation freely.

Husbands, you are on dangerous ground if you have a weak relationship with Christ. That translates to developing a weak foundation with your wife and family. If you cannot treat your wife as Paul instructs, how will you treat your children and others? Husbands we are to lead with a loving caring heart showing compassion at every turn. We are not to lord over our wives. As husbands we should be edifying our wives with God's word.

What does a wife submitting to their husband look like? Paul tells us that the wife should respect the husband. This means that the wife should be respectful and paying attention to their husband. Paul does not suggest that the wife is being forced to submit. In scripture the middle voice is used for the word submit, meaning it is the wife's choice for her submission.

This of course is predicated on the treatment of the husband to the wife. There are circumstances in a relationship where immoral behavior and violence violate what Christ teaches. The bible is clear on what we should do in those circumstances. We should never be subjected to or tolerate violence or immoral behavior in or out of a marriage.

The marriage becomes a team event where two way communication is required. Common goals are achieved through communication with each other which our society has seemed to lose touch with. Becoming one in marriage is critical to the longevity and survival of a marriage. God's design is to become one with each other because we will ultimately become one with Him. Becoming one suggests that we have no pride or selfish ambitions. The bible is clear on a hierarchy that we should live by and it says we put God first, then our family and then our jobs followed by our own interests.

The bible warns that if you are unequally yoked with others and you have relationships with others, you become one with them. It is dangerous to live a life in a free styled manner because the consequences could be greater than you imagine.

My prayer is that we would all recognize the importance of becoming one with each other in marriage. That we would recognize there will be a time where we will be one with Christ. That we will respect and love each other as the bible instructs us to do. I pray we are obedient and develop our marriage with God at the center knowing in His power we can do all things. In Jesus mighty Name Amen! Amen!