Marriage Day 10: Something Must Come Between Us

I was meeting with a couple who seemed convinced that the other person in the marriage was the biggest sinner in the room. Both of them were clear about how the other spouse was sabotaging their relationship. They had their facts straight, and, for the most part, they were correct in their accusations. It did not matter what angle I took to motivate them to think and act like Christians. Finally, after several attempts to convince them of the futility of their positions, I conceded any further hope of a ceasefire. There would be no redemptive-relational progress that day. They were too mad, too self-justified, too hurt, too unforgiving, and too stubborn to change. At that point, I gave up and recommended that the combatants continue their conflict. Yes, I told them to pursue their anger toward each other. “Keep on keeping on. Duke it out.” I paused and added, “But under one condition, I want to make a stipulation.” I said they could continue to fight all they wanted to as long as I could choose the location for all future skirmishes.

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