Our take on the Eurovision contest

Last night, I submitted myself to something which was totally impure, unholy, and wicked: the Eurovision Song Contest. I didn't do it because I like the music; I don't like that music. But I wanted to see what Israel was singing, and I also wanted to see if the UK song was as bad as they said it was going to be, and the Irish song was as bad as they said it was going to be.