How to Have Impossible Conversations - A Very Practical Guide, Ch 06, part 02

https://dokumen.pub/how-to-have-impossible-conversations-a-very-practical-guide-0738285323-9780738285320.html
Peter Boghossian, James A. Lindsey

00:00 3—ALTERCASTING
*People with these physical conditions should be in bed.
*You have these physical conditions.
*Therefore, you should be in bed

03:06 - Assigning a Role
1. Take their favorite solution off the table.
2. Altercast conversational virtues like civility, fairness, and open-mindedness.

05:20 - Take Their Favorite Solution Off the Table
1. Acknowledge your partner’s view.
2. Cast your partner as a smart, creative problem solver in a particular, relevant role.
3. Construct the scenario so as to remove her preferred solution.
4. Have her brainstorm alternative solutions.

09:17 - Altercast Conversational Virtues
1. Establish rapport.
2. Altercast your partner as someone who knows how to have
productive, civil dialogue.
Say, “You strike me as the kind of person who’s civil. Someone who’s good at having conversations.” (This could be someone who is fair or open-minded as well, for other examples of conversational virtues.)
3. Engage her in conversation

11:11 - How to Create the Conversational Partner You Want to Have
1. Acknowledge, then altercast.
Say, “I hear you about [X].” Then altercast your partner into a knowledgeable, creative role regarding the question you’re discussing, but one in which his preferred solution is not on the table. Have your partner brainstorm alternative solutions.
2. Altercast your partner into the role of better conversationalist.
Say, “You’re good at having civil conversations.” Or, simply,
“You’re good at keeping your cool.”
3. If someone rejects the alternative role you cast for them, abandon the technique and move to other techniques in this book.
4. Recognize that someone is altercasting on you if they attempt to cast you into a role. You can then go with it, refuse, acknowledge what’s happening, or altercast back on them.

12:18 4—HOSTAGE NEGOTIATIONS
13:08 - How Your Conversations Can Benefit from Hostage Negotiation Techniques
1. Use “minimal encouragers.”
Examples of minimal encouragers are, “Yeah,” “I see,” and “Okay.” Minimal encouragers are an effortless way to let your conversation partner know you’re listening. We recommend minimal encouragers during particularly tense moments.
2. Mirroring.
3. Emotional labeling.
4. Allow the person to save face.
5. Deal with small issues first.
6. “Use specific examples or case histories rather than statistical
information.”