Mike Flood Opening Statement - 2024 Nebraska Primary Debate

Scott: Welcome back to the 2024 Nebraska Primary Debates and now we have to listen to another opening statement from one of the Incumbent Imbeciles, the foolish clueless oblivious chowder head,
Frivolous Flood: I’m a nerd.

Chris: More like a fat nerd.
Gary: Fat Goober
Lucy: Fat Dweeb.
Emory: Fat Doofus
Rosie: Fat is fabulous.
Ian: If I was that fat, I’d never have to bring my water wings to the pool because I’d be my own personal flotation device.

Chris: He’s so fat I took a picture of him last Christmas and it’s still printing.
Gary: He’s so fat he’s got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
Lucy: He’s so fat, when he fell no one laughed but the ground started cracking up.
Emory: He’s so fat, when he goes camping bears hide their food.
Rosie: He’s so fat, when he steps on the scale it says to be continued.
Ian: He’s so fat he got a parking ticket for standing in the crosswalk.

Scott: Well there you have it folks, The Fat and Frivolous Mike Flood is a failure.

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