298 ‒ The impact of emotional health on longevity, self-audit strategies, & improving well-being

Paul Conti is an author & practicing psychiatrist who specializes in helping people heal from trauma. In this episode, Paul returns to The Drive to delve into the intricate relationship between emotional health, healthspan, & lifespan. He first challenges common assumptions about the inevitable decline of emotional health with age, providing strategies for conducting a comprehensive audit of internal emotional health. He establishes a framework for the foundation of good emotional health: a balance between the generative drive, the assertive drive, & the pleasure drive. Paul also explores the nuanced dynamics of motivation, happiness, & satisfaction as it relates to material possessions, draws connections between physical & emotional well-being, confronts the impact of negative self-talk, & describes how making peace with our mortality can foster a sense of hope, purpose & well-being. Additionally, Paul offers many practical insights into initiating emotional health improvements & navigating the search for a suitable therapist.

We discuss:
0:00:00-Intro
0:00:54-The importance of prioritizing emotional health as we age
0:05:53-The impact of emotional health on healthspan & how to foster a proactive approach to emotional well-being
0:12:21-The discrepancy between outward success & inner fulfillment, & the importance of a healthy “generative drive” for genuine well-being
0:23:42-A deeper dive into generative drive: impact on human behavior, resilience, purpose
0:29:57-Evaluating one’s inner self: introspection, self-awareness, challenging societal norms, & returning to the basics of physical & emotional well-being
0:43:34-Self-auditing tools: introspection, curiosity, & exploring underlying reasons for unwanted behaviors
0:53:15-Breaking free from destructive cycles by understanding the continuum of self-care & addictive behaviors
1:03:57-Critical self talk: the malleability of one’s inner dialogue & the potential for transformative change with perseverance & self-compassion
1:13:45-Slowing the anger response & gaining insights into the underlying triggers to achieve lasting change & self-understanding
1:26:44-Foster gratitude & humility by achieving balance between the three drives—assertion, pleasure, & generative
1:30:39-The conflict between intellectual understanding & emotional feelings, problematic comparison frameworks, & the importance of living in the present with intentionality
1:42:14-How making peace with our mortality can foster a sense of hope, purpose & well-being
1:52:22-Advice for finding a compatible therapist
2:07:01-The key components of therapeutic progress
2:16:43-The caricatures of four common patient phenotypes, & how to get through to them
2:27:51-How Paul manages his own well-being & the emotional challenges with his line of work