EVEN IF MercyME (LYRICs & Testimony) TRIAL BY FIRE MusicMOVIE Story BOOK OF DANIEL #bartmillardsongs

My Witness of JESUS' saving GRACE, by Randy.
In 1972, I literally said, "I'm not ready", to The GOSPEL MESSAGE, 4 years later, the hard way.
"GRACE, FEAR of GOD; TRIAL BY FIRE; Doubting SALVATION; Lack of REPENTANCE, TRUTH."
"EVEN IF" is a song written by Bart Millard of Mercy Me; when he had a bad day. This song lead to my RECOVERY from a lingering, 1982, post-traumatic stress event. My 40 years ago, Christian TRIAL BY FIRE, involved acute overwhelming fear of God, years of FAITH uncertainty, and extreme concerns about, "Falling from Grace". EVEN IF, the LORD didn't rescue me, while I cried to HIM obsessively, I had tried to cling to any promise I could find in the BIBLE, by my own strength.
Unknowingly I used up my measure of FAITH entirely on worry. My FAITH meter dropped to empty, like a tank of automobile gasoline. Now, I was ship wrecked, I completely collapsed, my trial was more than I thought, "God would place on anyone". Overwhelmed, like JESUS, carrying His cross, The LORD's reaction, like Simon of Cyrene, HE CARRIED me. EVEN IF, I was FAITHLESS, The LORD remained FAITHFUL, through many years this trial consumed, in the 1980's.
Raised in 1960'S "GREENS"boro, NC and "Born again" in 1976 with a Moses mountain top Easter day FAITH experience. Somehow I BELIEVED and CONFESSED Christ as LORD, without, REPENTANCE, a step that John the Baptist lost his head over. In this PRIDE of my SALVATION experience, I knew I was saved, by Grace, but I didn't know I would require so much, Truly Amazing Grace.
Years later in 1981, I experienced, quite willingly, Water Baptism, in "BROWNS"ville, KY. An act I discovered is essentially being buried into the death of Christ, though I was still uninformed; that I was still slightly, "UNREPENTANT". Get the picture, sinful guy wants to be like sinless JESUS. What a paradox.
Beloved, thus came my unknowing TRIAL BY FIRE, while mercury poisoned, from required open bottle, dental amalgam, mercury dispensers in a U.S. Public Heath Service, in a 1980's dental office. I was becoming, part of the epidemic of dentists, mercury poisoned, that the (ADA) American Dental Assoc. and even the U.S. deep state government, that I was employed by, had spent 100 years, allegedly, criminally, ignoring, and covering up. Surviving is another story.
My genuine return to my first love, The LORD, came in 2014. Ironic enough, my act of repentance occurred in "ASHE"BORO, NC! It was a weeping, pleading, moment of heartfelt confession, "Father God forgive me, for all my disobedience, but specifically for ignoring your guiding 1976 WORD, "Do not go to dental school, I have another plan for you"."
Well, back in SEPT. 1976, I was leaving for the first day of dental school class, with no sure plan to stay. My dad of this world, was so proud, hoping I would become a dentist. So; obeying EARTHY DAD above HEAVENLY FATHER, I did not drop out. OMG.
On the first day of dental school we were told, "welcome to the number one dental school in America. Do you realize the career you have chosen, has the highest, ALCOHOL, SUICIDE, and DIVORCE rate." Now I know; the DEVIL in the details was; MERCURY DENTISTRY. A strategic moment for Satan to attack a madhatter? Mercury vaporizes @ body temperature. Doubters go to IAOMT.org. Dental office= HAZMAT.
On that day, against the LORD's guidance, I stayed and inherited a 33 year dental career JUDGEMENT. Dealing daily with broken thermometer equivalent doses of mercury, from SILVER AMALGAM MIX. I was Mercury UNAWARE then, it is invisible. THE PRIDE, it can't happen to me. ALCOHOL, SUICIDE, and DIVORCE statistics are for others. SAVED, MUCH GRACE.
My real problem that day was the fear of public speaking, telling my dental school, 1st day classmates, the LORD had MEDICAL SCHOOL PLANS, for me. FEAR, Yea, what irony, the fear of public speaking, more than the fear of warned SUICIDE.
Like Israel, it would take me 40 years, to enter the land of trusting God's WORD. In the TRIAL OF FIRE OF 1982, with a little help from the devil; I BECAME FAITHLESS, Titanic moment; HE, THE LORD JESUS, REMAINED FAITHFUL, HE refueled my FAITH.
As you know now from this testimony, GRACE is sufficient for SALVATION, while Satan & mercury lead to doubt my SALVATION, blindness. An unrepentant, carnal, sin sick, believer and confessor of Christ. The LORD LED ME IN THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, "requiring all missing steps", like "REPENTANCE", for HIS NAME sake, HE HAD TO; look at HIS PROMISE! "If you believe in your heart that JESUS died on the cross, for your sin, and was raised from the dead, and CONFESS with your mouth, that "JESUS IS LORD", thou shalt be saved." This PROMISE, "Thou shalt be saved", fulfilled by A TRIAL BY FIRE!
"Work out your SALVATION with fear and trembling", let the Grace of our LORD JESUS, flow like a river, sustain you in HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS. Not self-righteousness, that are filthy rags of pride, lacking genuine REPENTANCE. Alive in CHRIST , Randy