Do this the next time you fight with your partner (Warning: This may BACKFIRE)

17 days ago
1
relationship advice conflict resolution communication tips handling arguments partner fights relationship counseling improving relationships relationship growth couples therapy resolving conflicts relationship problems

Fights happen, it's very common in all relationships.

But sometimes, while we are fighting and arguing, we let our anger get the best of us. We start behaving in an animalistic manner. Trying to prove our egos to each other, and trying to show who is a bigger person.

Now relationships are not an ego competition, it's a union. So a good technique is to talk with your partner to get permission to film the fight or argument. And then when you have your partner's consent, go record the fight/argument, and watch it back together. And while you guys are watching the clip, just observe how you guys behave.

At that moment you notice that you get consumed by this demonic force and realize what the hell just happened. As after every argument both of you feel guilty and shameful for the things you have said during that argument. Many times you get consumed by pendulum swings that propel you to start fighting with each other.

If you don't know what pendulum swings are, watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaiy_jTFq2o&t=681s

If you are unable to film yourself, or if your partner freaked out on the idea, just take a step back instead of filming.

Put yourself in a third-person view and observe the argument. Detach yourself from your ego and observe the argument.

This will give you a higher perspective on what's happening there. Most of the time your partner would just have some unresolved issues, traumas, or external triggers that happened that they are projecting on you.

Because they were unable to deal with them themselves. Most of the time you would project and inflate the anger that's been stored inside, on your partner.

Only when you take a step back and observe this from the audience's standpoint, you can solve the issue peacefully.

Again, if you don't solve it, it may lead to a toxic relationship.

And once you are deep into that hole, it'll be very hard for you to crawl out of it. So try to solve it when you have a chance or it'll be too late

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