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Swingin' on a Star Part Two
After Bruce Willis retired, I had to accept that they would never make a Hudson Hawk sequel so I wrote the theme song for my own sake.
[7/24/2023, 3:28 PM] Ned: https://youtu.be/Z6AuY594_SQ
Would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off than you are,
Or would you rather be a sponge?
A sponge is an animal that looks like a plant.
You'd think its a bush but it ain't.
Others live inside it like it were a tree,
But it's no plant. It's a colony!
So if you do like all the slime and all the grunge,
You may grow up to be a sponge.
Or would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off than you are,
Or would you rather be a sloth?
A sloth is an animal that moves very slow.
It hangs upsidedown all by its toes.
It hibernates when it's hot and it's really strong.
It stays on the same branch all day long.
If you want to make a safe home for moths,
You may grow up to be a sloth!
Or would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off than you are,
Or would you rather be a bug?
A bug is an animal you'd think is a pest,
But only if it's life that you detest.
They turn the soil and they pollinate
From up in the air and down to the plates.
So if you don't mind getting squished or getting dug,
You may grow up to be a bug.
And every snake do'n't lie in the grass!
Some of them crawl right up your ass!
Because your next chance do'n't have to be your last,
You could be better than you are.
You could be swingin' on a star.
You could be swingin' on a star. ×8
[7/24/2023, 3:28 PM] Ned: Part Three!
A bitch is an animal that wails when in heat.
...
?
A shrew is an animal with venomous bite...
?
A horse is an animal that works everyday...
?
But every bird can't fly through the air...
?
[7/24/2023, 3:28 PM] Ned: Another bird can't walk and can't swim,
Only buries its head with chagrin.
But take a look and see
That you win!
You could be better than you are!
You could be swingin' on a star! ×8
BIG FINALE!
[7/24/2023, 3:30 PM] Ned: *can't fly
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