Premium Only Content

Swingin' on a Star Part Two
After Bruce Willis retired, I had to accept that they would never make a Hudson Hawk sequel so I wrote the theme song for my own sake.
[7/24/2023, 3:28 PM] Ned: https://youtu.be/Z6AuY594_SQ
Would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off than you are,
Or would you rather be a sponge?
A sponge is an animal that looks like a plant.
You'd think its a bush but it ain't.
Others live inside it like it were a tree,
But it's no plant. It's a colony!
So if you do like all the slime and all the grunge,
You may grow up to be a sponge.
Or would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off than you are,
Or would you rather be a sloth?
A sloth is an animal that moves very slow.
It hangs upsidedown all by its toes.
It hibernates when it's hot and it's really strong.
It stays on the same branch all day long.
If you want to make a safe home for moths,
You may grow up to be a sloth!
Or would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off than you are,
Or would you rather be a bug?
A bug is an animal you'd think is a pest,
But only if it's life that you detest.
They turn the soil and they pollinate
From up in the air and down to the plates.
So if you don't mind getting squished or getting dug,
You may grow up to be a bug.
And every snake do'n't lie in the grass!
Some of them crawl right up your ass!
Because your next chance do'n't have to be your last,
You could be better than you are.
You could be swingin' on a star.
You could be swingin' on a star. ×8
[7/24/2023, 3:28 PM] Ned: Part Three!
A bitch is an animal that wails when in heat.
...
?
A shrew is an animal with venomous bite...
?
A horse is an animal that works everyday...
?
But every bird can't fly through the air...
?
[7/24/2023, 3:28 PM] Ned: Another bird can't walk and can't swim,
Only buries its head with chagrin.
But take a look and see
That you win!
You could be better than you are!
You could be swingin' on a star! ×8
BIG FINALE!
[7/24/2023, 3:30 PM] Ned: *can't fly
-
59:51
BonginoReport
3 hours agoPresident Trump Triggers The Libs with Jokes and Memes - (Ep. 41) - Nightly Scroll with Hayley
13.8K29 -
1:17:50
Kim Iversen
3 hours agoIsrael First: Congress Almost Criminalized Free Speech Today | Why the West Wants This African Leader DEAD
48.5K45 -
LIVE
LFA TV
1 day agoLast Hour Urgency | TRUMPET DAILY 5.5.25 7PM
168 watching -
LIVE
2 MIKES LIVE
9 hours ago2 MIKES LIVE #212 Deep Dive Monday!
189 watching -
1:28:26
vivafrei
6 hours agoTrump to PAY Illegals to LEAVE? Bill to Ban Boycott PULLED? "Terror" Attack Foiled in UK & MORE!
86.4K30 -
1:10:12
Tucker Carlson
2 hours agoBen of Ben & Jerry’s Exposes the Motives Behind War With Russia & the Politicians That Sold Out
75.7K79 -
11:11:58
LFA TV
21 hours agoLFA TV LIVE STREAM - MONDAY 5/5/25
84.2K36 -
14:56
PewView
3 hours ago $0.95 earnedMy next EDC? UL comp VS UL Pro!
19.9K1 -
29:11
SantaSurfing
2 hours ago5/5/2025 - Storm is upon them! 2 names revealed in Diddy! Alcatraz! Fake News may lose license!
6.18K8 -
49:08
QNewsPatriot
3 hours agoSDNY-USVI: 54 "Epstein-Ring" Arrest Warrants on Deck | Counterintel_Op "SignalGate" | Proof: 2018 Defender Europe & Military Raids Against House of Rothschild
7.64K16