My New Pronouns as Approved by YouTube

I’ve finally caved. I’ve chosen my pronouns, and published them to the world. I was reminded by YouTube to update my pronouns – I didn’t even know I could. “Pronouns are a critical part of personal identity and expression.” “Critical: Having a decisive or crucial importance in the success, failure, or existence of something.” Jeez, well if my very existence depends on it, I better update my pronouns. In my Channel Dashboard, I need to click on Customisation. Then I have to go to Basic Info. Scrolling down, you can Add Pronoun. “Type to find your pronouns”. That’s a bit presumptuous calling me “your”. Anyway, as you start typing, it shows you a list of approved pronouns. For example, for “B”, there are no approved pronouns: “We are periodically reviewing pronouns which may become available in the future.” I wait with bated breath.

I quite like “aers”, it sounds like Ayers Rock, Uluru. The Bureau of Meteorology were predicting a hot and dry autumn earlier this month, so of course, a few weeks later, it’s been raining and cold. “Rare rain on Uluru creates stunning waterfall”. So “aers” is my first pronoun. It looks like you can select more. “Cos”, not just the cosine (I love maths, by the way), but also cos lettuce! With its crispy, green leaves, sharp in flavour, it’s a perfect addition to any salad or sandwich, so of course, I’ll add it to my list of pronouns.

“Mer”, as in mermaid, or merman. I’ve always wanted to breathe underwater, so of course, I’ll add it to my growing list. I wonder how many of these I can add.

“Thon”, it sounds like a Greek god. Not to mention marathon, a test of courage, character, and physical endurance.

Oh, it looks like I’ve reached my limit for pronouns. Of course, I want my pronouns to be visible to everyone! I’ve got nothing to hide. I’ll just publish that. If you look at my channel now, you can see, Daily Insight: aers/cos/mer/thon! And you better use my correct pronouns, or else!

Of course, some will accuse me of taking the mickey, and that’s right, that’s exactly what I’m doing. But don’t you think this is worthy of scorn? Or am I missing something?

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Allégro by Emmit Fenn