Welcome To Machete Town USA

Once upon a time there was a magical town deep in the Heart of Texas. It was home to musicians, artists, filmmakers, and visionaries. Unfortunately, Austin, Texas as we knew it is gone. It is now Machete Town.

In the heart of Machete town, 6th Street, The musicians have been replaced by machete wielding homeless lunatics thanks to the grifting of the City Council. A Council that continues to pretend that the old Austin exists to keep the outside money and Californians flowing in. Recently shooting down the latest attempt to have its coffers audited in an effort to apparently cover up the revelations of at least a decade of corruption.

The police force has been decimated and the ones that remain work long hours and face jail time if they don't tow Soros DA Garza's marxist line. At night 6th Street is transformed into a shooting gallery. Where tourists are murdered as they are still being drawn to the City with the promise of what it once was.

Even worse, the Council continues to sell the illusion that Machete Town is a safe environment for thousands upon thousands of filmmakers, tech gurus, and musicians from all over the world to converge on. Ignoring in true left wing fashion, the very real danger lurking in the shadows.

It may be too late to give this advice. But in the words of Gibby Haynes of the Butthole Surfers "Don't move here."