Felt Like A Dream | Bizarre Symptoms | Onset of Disability

The sudden onset of a disability can be a traumatizing experience. Involving the immediate loss of ones identity, creating total confusion. Basic adult independence we base our entire lives around can be stripped from you in a single breath.

The initial onset of symptoms for me was a scary and blurred state of reality. Bizarre symptoms. Life felt like a dream, nothing felt real, you are in survival mode, like a cat permanently treading water in a swimming pool that cannot escape. It's as if you have suddenly taken on someone else's identity, nothing feels real anymore. Your body and mind no longer operate. Seconds fade into eternity. When you are awake you are fighting just to exist. Your trying to find a way out, out of that swimming pool, back to your former self, the life you once had. It takes a long time to accept ones new identity, the limitations and scars, loss of relationships, time passed in solitude. The puzzles float around your broken mind and body with disconcertion. For most the process takes many years, for others it can melt into decades, many never come out of the dream, lost forever in a maze. The journey either makes you or breaks you.

The blessings and learnings within these extreme levels of suffering are great and not to be underestimated. Everything balances out in the end. Maybe not in the consumeristic way of shallow social successes, career goals or bought acquisitions, far removed from self centered control over ones life. It cannot be learned, earned, bought or practiced. It's just basic life experience that comes with such extreme circumstances. I am genuinely thankful I have walked through such a colorful life. I am grateful for the people that shared each part of that journey with me. Every time I hold my children in my arms or hear my wife's voice I cannot describe the deepest level of thankfulness in my heart. But lets be honest, my body is F😮CKED.

Roadz Of Life | BIZARRE SYMPTOMS

Roadz Of Life is a documentary that explores some of the more difficult sides of life. Sharing our stories and struggles can also encourage others. Beautiful, artistic, raw, down to earth, outside the box film making. These are complex topics.

Footage taken from full length Documentary Roadz Of Life
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