AI Telecommunications Lockdown Of All Apps After 60 Minutes Use In 2024 For Climate Change!

AI Telecommunications Lockdown: Woke Overreach or Climate Communism Reality?

G'day Legends! Senator Papahatziharalambrous here, your favorite truth-teller, bringing you the latest bombshell news that's shaking the foundations of our social media-obsessed world. Grab your tin hats and prepare for a wild ride because Telstra and Optus are introducing a groundbreaking AI "carbon-neutral" access system for all your favorite apps on your smartphones this year.

Now, before we dive into this techno-madness, let me extend my sincere congratulations to all you woke champions out there! You did it! Your relentless virtue signaling and climate change hysteria have finally given birth to what I like to call "Climate Communism" – the AI lockdown on your precious social media apps.

Here's the lowdown: starting soon, every user of X, Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, and every other social media platform will get the boot after a mere 61 minutes of use over a 24-hour period. Why? Well, according to the science, your carbon footprint during that hour is apparently equivalent to using up and throwing out 666 plastic straws or taking a casual flight from Melbourne to Sydney. Go figure!

But here's the kicker – all you conservative voters and climate skeptics out there, fear not! You can opt out of this AI madness. Just sign a sworn statutory declaration that you're not buying into the climate hysteria, and voilà, you get 24-hour access. Can't wait to see our esteemed leaders like PM Alco, Bill ‘man boobs’ Shorten, Pennywontdrop Wong, Clementitty Ford and the Twitterati virtuosos swear allegiance to the LNP or One Nation just to keep their scrolling privileges.

Now, let's share a chuckle for all those climate change students who'll be locked out of their favorite apps. Oh, the irony! Climate Communism has arrived, and it's knocking on the doors of TikTokers, and Twitter bleeding hearts alike. To the useful idiotic drongos, who danced their hearts out on TikTok, and the faux bleeding hearts on Twitter – you made your bed, now lie in it and suffer in your stinky underwear cunts! 🤣

Source? The 13 O'clock News – where the truth is told like it is, no holds barred. Stay awake punters, and brace yourselves for the brave new world of AI lockdowns. Until next time, keep laughing, keep fighting, and let's see where this climate communism takes them and us.

Note: This article is intended for a mature and common sense audience. Viewer discretion advised. If you’re triggered, I implore you, please seek professional assistance immediately, or don’t IDFC!