9. " The Mock Turtle's Story " - Chapter IX - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

After the disappearance of the Cheshire Cat, the croquet game starts up again and the Duchess takes Alice’s arm. The two start to walk, and Alice becomes uncomfortable that the Duchess holds her so close. Alice thinks that the Duchess is behaving pleasantly because there isn’t any pepper present. The two walk and talk, and the Duchess takes every opportunity to explain various moral lessons to Alice. The Duchess attempts to put her hand around Alice’s waist, but Alice convinces her not to, telling her that the flamingo croquet mallet might bite. They run into the Queen, who sternly orders the Duchess off and asks Alice to resume the croquet game.

In little time, the Queen narrows the croquet game down to Alice, the King, and herself. All of the other players have been sent off for beheadings. With no soldiers remaining to act as arches, the Queen concludes the game and decides that Alice should visit the Mock Turtle. While the King pardons the condemned croquet players, the Queen brings Alice to the Gryphon, who leads her to the Mock Turtle. En route, the Gryphon explains to Alice that the Queen never actually executes anyone. Alice meets the Mock Turtle and immediately becomes concerned since he looks so sad. The Gryphon shows no sympathy for the Mock Turtle, explaining to Alice that he only fancies himself as being sad.

Amid constant sobbing, the Mock Turtle begins his tale by explaining that he used to be a real turtle. He went to sea school every day, and his master was an old turtle named Tortoise. Alice interrupts, asking why the teacher would go by the name of “Tortoise” if he wasn’t a tortoise. The Mock Turtle chastises her, explaining that he was so named because he “taught us.” He goes on to talk about his education, which he considers to be the finest available. He studied a variety of unusual subjects, including Reeling and Writing, as well as Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision. Alice inquires about the length of the lessons, and the Mock Turtle says that they became shorter with each passing day. Alice finds this puzzling, but the Mock Turtle explains that they were called lessons because they “lessen.” When Alice asks what happened when there was no time left for lessons, the Gryphon changes the subject to games.