Osho Video - From The False To The Truth 21 - The master is nothing but a sculptor

BELOVED OSHO,
WHEN I READ YOUR BOOKS I HAVE FELT GREAT LOVE FOR YOU. NOW THAT I AM HERE I FEEL LESS LOVE. SITTING IN DISCOURSE I FEEL MORE BACK PAIN THAN LOVE. AND LATELY I’VE BEEN FEELING A LOT OF FEAR, EVEN HATRED, OF YOU. I FEEL UNSURE OF YOU, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT ”MY SANNYASINS.” IT SEEMS THAT YOU EXPECT THE TOTAL YES, WHICH I HAVE ALWAYS FOUGHT AGAINST. I’VE SEEN MANY LOVING, AWAKE PEOPLE HERE WHO FEEL DIFFERENTLY, AND THAT HELPS ME, BUT IT WILL NOT LAST WHEN I HAVE GONE.
Question 2
BELOVED OSHO,
WHY AM I SO AFRAID OF BEING FREE?