Arthritis and People: The End of the Techno-Natural Growers Union

Whoop de do. It's the end of another of the things I like in life. Such as martial arts. or walks in the park or half a dozen things I used to like to do.

Sorry I failed everyone on Rumble. I got dealt a bad hand in this poker game of life. I just needed to get hired or get some kind of break and it didn't happen. As of January 2nd I have no means of replacing the video camera that broke during this recording. This really is the end unless I get hired. I don't expect I will get such a break. It hasn't happened before. Most employers don't even bother to call back.... The advertisers on Rumble paid 3 Cents one month and stopped entirely. Ads get filled but I have received nothing for all of this work. I did it because it was fun and people kept watching them. Maybe they helped someone? I don't even know. No one bothered to tell me. No one commented even when I asked in most of my videos. I'm tired and in such pain and I just want to sleep for a week. Nothing and no one ever lets me rest. I just have to survive one more winter maybe... Then again it's been 14 years of this and nothing has changed....

I'm just disappointed it ended like this. With another wet thud that no one will ever let me forget in my family. They will ride this for years to come. Never letting me forget. I have no outlet anymore because I'm alone. I have no fiancee anymore. No real family. No true means to progress. I'm caught between a rock and a hard place like so many of you. Survive. Survive left in a city with a heartless family that just left you. Alone. No friends. No woman. Just pain and memory... No outlet anymore..... Now I must deal with it inside.....

I used an AI art generator to simulate my fiance' wheeling into the operating room like i had to be so long ago. of course it didn't happen that way. I don't even remember but the night cafe AI did a great job rendering what i wanted. The follow up video I mentioned is being uploaded through my phone which is what i recorded it on. Rumble needs to work on their mobile side because it's been stuck at the finalizing step of the upload for over half an hour. I don't want multiple uploads like last time. So now i have to keep my phone on a charger and it's running very hot when I do uploads...