Borderline Personality - Emotional Unavailability - Feel Loss? - "Love" in Childhood Fused With Need

Borderline Personality - Emotional Unavailability - Grief - "Love" in Childhood Fused With Need
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People with Borderline Personality are *NOT* Narcissists. People with BPD are not all the same. People with BPD fuse love with need in childhood. Most with BPD have an incredible amount of emotion and feelings. Yes, a person with BPD can grieve the loss of parents, or I give the example of my grandmother's passing when I was 7. What I felt vs what was "not safe" feel. I was not able to truly feel the loss of my grandmother until I was in therapy and in my mid-20's. Inside of people with BPD, from childhood, is this fusion of love and need, and if people with BPD are untreated or not significantly treated, they can feel a lot, but they learn in adverse childhood to, in most cases with all those feelings, protect against loss and relationship breakups. Don't assume that you know how any person with BPD actually feels inside or what that does or doesn't mean given the ways in which as children they had to develop so many defenses just to survive that all become maladpative in adulthood.

What a lot of people with BPD struggle with emotionally is mired in layers and layers of mixed messages and lack of safety in early childhood. It's a response to that adverse experience and not pathological or so simple as to be guessed at by so many people who truly don't know what they are talking about. This commenter, makes assumptions, a false equivalency that they were, understandable enough, confused by. That's one thing but then making global statements about people with BPD based on one person in your life, that's globalizing in a way that ends up with people believing they know everything about BPD - all with it, based on barely understanding on person with BPD.

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