"You British think you're so cool cuz you have boats!"

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1 year ago
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"You British think you're so cool cuz you have boats!"
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FULL REVIEW: https://youtube.com/live/n0n-f3c0YKQ

Napoleon focuses almost exclusively on Mr. Bonaparte’s relationship with his hussy wife Josephine, and not so much on painting the portrait of a small statured military genius turned emperor that conquered most of Europe, you know, a topic of absolute fascination. This makes it a frustrating movie, because it’s not like it needed to be ALL guts and glory, but did it have to be mostly simping and cuckery?

Perhaps this would have worked if there was any spark between these two characters, but the movie makes it difficult to care about two people that mostly stare at each other blankly and then go cheat on one another, especially when the filmmakers fail to properly connect those story threads to his military motivations. So even if that was the point it still falls flat.

And I mostly blame Joaquin Phoenix who is horribly miscast. At this point in his career he’s too much of a wild card to have the discipline for a role like this. That which made him perfect for movies like Joker or The Master makes him a liability in this historical drama, hence people laughing at inappropriate times in my theater.

Frankly, the movie is a damn mess. It tries to be funny when it should be serious. It’s too stale when it should be romantic, and all of the interesting historical plot points are glanced over in favor of flatline Josephine. Prepare to be underwhelmed and let down.

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