Napoleon | 2023 Movies RANKED - Episode 50

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Follow along as RANKED reviews a new movie release every week of 2023, slowly compiling the best films of the year into our sacred hierarchical list.

Previous Episode 2023 RANKED List:
1. Oppenheimer
2. The Holdovers
3. Killers of the Flower Moon
4. Beau Is Afraid
5. Infinity Pool
6. Talk to Me
7. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
8. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
9. Mission: Impossible — Dead Reckoning Part One
10. John Wick: Chapter 4
11. Tetris
12. Gran Turismo
13. Air
14. Creed III
15. Sound of Freedom
16. A Haunting In Venice
17. The Creator
18. The Flash
19. Fast X
20. Asteroid City
21. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
22. Shazam! Fury of the Gods
23. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
24. M3GAN
25. missing
26. The Machine
27. Barbie
28. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
29. The Exorcist: Believer
30. Scream VI
31. The Super Mario Bros. Movie
32. Dumb Money
33. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
34. Renfield
35. The Equalizer 3
36. Blue Beetle
37. Evil Dead Rise
38. The Pope’s Exorcist
39. Magic Mike’s Last Dance
40. Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
41. Knock at the Cabin
42. Insidious: The Red Door
43. Five Nights at Freddy’s
44. The Nun II
45. The Last Voyage of the Demeter
46. Plane
47. Haunted Mansion
48. Cocaine Bear
49. Knights of the Zodiac

Napoleon focuses almost exclusively on Mr. Bonaparte’s relationship with his hussy wife Josephine, and not so much on painting the portrait of a small statured military genius turned emperor that conquered most of Europe, you know, a topic of absolute fascination. This makes it a frustrating movie, because it’s not like it needed to be ALL guts and glory, but did it have to be mostly simping and cuckery?

Perhaps this would have worked if there was any spark between these two characters, but the movie makes it difficult to care about two people that mostly stare at each other blankly and then go cheat on one another, especially when the filmmakers fail to properly connect those story threads to his military motivations. So even if that was the point it still falls flat.

And I mostly blame Joaquin Phoenix who is horribly miscast. At this point in his career he’s too much of a wild card to have the discipline for a role like this. That which made him perfect for movies like Joker or The Master makes him a liability in this historical drama, hence people laughing at inappropriate times in my theater.

Frankly, the movie is a damn mess. It tries to be funny when it should be serious. It’s too stale when it should be romantic, and all of the interesting historical plot points are glanced over in favor of flatline Josephine. Prepare to be underwhelmed and let down.

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