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CREATIVE | HUMOR
I’m Tired of Cat Discrimination
A cat’s OP-ED letter to all humans
Jose Luis Ontanon Nunez
Creatures
Jose Luis Ontanon Nunez

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Creatures

4 min read
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Mar 14, 2021

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I’m tired of cat discrimination!

It shows some character deformation in peoples sour young lives, and they should have stick to Lifesavers and Jolly ranchers instead of those gross Sour Patch Kids. If they didn’t have the chance to live with a cat as a kid, tough luck, we don't believe that it’s our fault.

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Humans say dogs resemble their owners. Well, Duh! Of course, they don't have an inch of class. Instead of sleeping on the rug all day, they should pay more attention while Kim and Kyle are on the TV, watch some RuPaul, or at least they should have learned something from Snooki before they kicked her tush out of Jersey Shore.

We, on the other hand (or should I say paw), have pizzazz and finesse. We groom ourselves all day gracefully while dogs lick their butts as if they were going to pull the next American Idol out of there. And talking about that, tell them to stop; it’s gross.

And don’t say that we also do it. Of course, we do; we love ourselves! But contrary to your dog’s yucky way, we do it with style, like ballerinas doing a Penché or a yoga teacher in the bird of paradise pose.

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