An Atheists 10 Commandments...

Guidelines for the Faithless: Living a Life without Divine Strings Attached...

1. Thou shalt not worship false deities, especially not that coffee maker that never works on Mondays.
2. Remember to take a day off, not necessarily on Sunday, but whenever you damn well please, because self-care is a religion of its own.
3. Honor thy fellow humans, even the ones who insist on using the express lane with a cart full of groceries.
4. Thou shalt not kill the vibe at parties, for laughter is the ultimate sacrament.
5. Covet not thy neighbor's Wi-Fi password, for a strong internet connection is a godsend in the digital age.
6. Thou shalt not bear false witness, unless it involves convincing your boss that you're working really hard when you're actually binge-watching Netflix.
7. Do not steal memes, for the internet giveth and taketh away, but a good meme lasts forever.
8. Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless it's with a pizza because pizza is always a good idea.
9. Honor science and reason, for they are the guiding lights in the darkness of ignorance.
10. Thou shalt not judge others for their beliefs, unless their belief is that pineapple belongs on pizza, in which case, feel free to question their life choices.