Not 60 Minutes with Andy Rooney: All Clear

Throngs of High Profile Defendants Require More Time to Dismiss Fantastical, Inscrutable, Frivolous and Enigmatic Allegations of Homeless Vet, Afflicted with Debilitating Major Depressive Disorder

[FOB Freedom, November 21, 2023] Any station? Any station? Do you read? Over.

Live from the world’s newest banana republic. . .

Listen to the doctors, most say, but at least one major depressive in Northern Virginia is so prolific in production of legal pleadings that he had placed such an onerous burden on a staff of 40 personnel in the office of the Alexandria prosecutor that former Jeopardy contestant Bryan Lala Porter felt compelled to demand a prefiling injunction, and, just imagine what would happen if he brought his major depression under control with medication and therapy. The floodgates of litigation might open, according to the science, apparently. And now the man of a thousand voices, who has intervened on so many hot-button issues across the country that the President has described him as passionate and the U.S. Attorney General has described him as a litigation hobbyist is out with a new video reprising the voice of the curious by nature Andy Rooney. How does he ever get time to enjoy two porn tabs at a time?

“Well, Howard, life for me ain’t been no crystal stare. There’s been tacks in it—wait! Wrong sheet of blue paper with a prefilled dot. Come back after I finish therapy and take my medication,” laughed Major Mike Webb maniacally.

Somehow, without the assistance of the psychology community that has now become the call for the second best schools in the Commonwealth of Virginia to rescue kids who fail to get accepted to Harvard, and are faced with an opioid crisis that has parents demanding action and personal NARCAN kits, Webb has rattled off, machine gun style, several state and federal civil complaints, with a total of nine cases docketed for certiorari in just two years, and there appears to be no sign of the tide ebbing as he commences a new round of litigation against the Arlington Public Schools.

One lively pastor had felt burnt out just before the pandemic, and had felt distant from God, and, although a much younger man, actually had to train for a half marathon, before breaking his leg. Yet, Webb, over 50, overweight and smoking two packs of cowboy killer Marlboros had managed to beat 75% of the military in the 32nd running of the Army Ten Miler, and even one Sunday, after reading about a half marathon at church, went out to Greenbelt, Maryland to run the entire half marathon, and with a backpack, because no facilities were provided for storing gear.

“I’m just like any other recipient of a letter from the Congregation for the Causes of Saints. Nothing special. Would I be homeless and unemployed if I was that special? Do the math. Dog,” laughed Webb.

Note: grandiosity is a classic sign of bipolar disorder, and we don't want to hurt his feelings lest he go to “that place”, so familiar to Arlington Public School Board Member, Latina Cristina Torres-Diaz.

Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim-cherry. A pandemic agent as lucky can be. Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim--achoo. The luck'll rub off when I bump fists with you. Or blow me a kiss, and catch COVID-2.

Your elected representative is called your elected representative for a reason; and Martin Luther King and Jesus never got elected.

And let’s get ready to RUMBLE! https://rumble.com/vp2uk1-attorneys-need-not-apply-you-have-the-right-to-remain-silent.html