Stand up comedy with subtitles_ Learn English with stand up comedy_ Entertaining speech

Performer enters the stage with a confident stride, grabs the microphone, and smiles at the audience.Show more

Performer: Hey, everyone! How's it going tonight? Great, I hope. You know, I've been trying to learn new languages lately, and let me tell you, it's like navigating through a linguistic minefield.

Audience chuckles.

Performer: I recently decided to tackle French. Now, don't get me wrong; I love the language. It's so romantic, so sophisticated. But pronunciations? That's a different story.

Performer pretends to struggle with French pronunciation.

Performer: I went to a French bakery the other day. I walked in confidently, ready to impress the cashier with my newfound language skills. I pointed at a croissant and proudly said, "Un croissant, s'il vous plaît."

Audience laughs.

Performer: The cashier looked at me with a mix of confusion and pity. Turns out, my pronunciation turned "croissant" into "crescent," and "s'il vous plaît" sounded more like "sweat blues plot." I think I accidentally ordered a plot for a sad workout session.

Audience bursts into laughter.

Performer: And then there's the struggle with idioms. I tried to use one in conversation, thinking it would make me sound sophisticated. I told my friend, "I'm feeling under the weather today." You know what he said?

Performer pauses for effect.

Performer: "Oh no, did you catch a cold?" Caught off guard, I panicked and replied, "No, no, it's just a figure of speech. I'm not actually under the weather. That would be weird."

Audience erupts in laughter.

Performer: But hey, English isn't any easier. We have phrases that make zero sense when you think about them. Like, why do we say "break a leg" for good luck? Imagine saying that to someone who's not familiar with the expression. "Good luck on your presentation! Break a leg!"

Performer mimes breaking a leg, audience laughs.

Performer: They'd probably call an ambulance. Or worse, they might take it literally and think you're plotting some bizarre crime.