Rebirthing Modern Female Self Awareness
My Memoir Available now on Amazon:
https://open.substack.com/pub/anshinbkellypublishedworks/p/coming-soon?r=1om0na&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
An Excerpt:
"It was as though this chance to try and paste a family together was much more than she could resist. She told me that she wanted to be pregnant again by her wedding day. She wrote long posts on Facebook waxing on about how "happy" she was, and how supposedly "fulfilled" this man made her. I look back and see that she routinely took this makeshift shit she convinced herself was a chance to be "happy," and packed it into balls to hurl at my face. Even when I finally cut off from her, and we hadn't talked in a couple of months, she could not help but write a wall of text to me in a message; full of insults for me, that expressed all throughout how wretchedly pissed she was, ultimately, that I had not bought in to her fantastic dreamland she called happiness: "I'm happy, GODDAMNIT!!!!!!! CAN'T YOU SEE?!?! How DARE you deny this obvious fact?! How DARE you insult me by not ooing and ahhing about my $5000 wedding dress? And huge wedding party? And Facebook posts?!?!" Her attitude, her posts, her messages, her presence seemed to scream at me for many months. So many come to think of it, were like this woman, including my husband. I see now that so much of the commotion, dissatisfaction, turmoil and convolution, came from "fantastic" attempts to paint a picture of whatever it was they needed people, it seemed especially me at certain times and places, to buy into; in order to ultimately avoid the pain, that would show them where and how to apply the true medicines they needed to heal on many different levels."
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