review, harry potter, 2001, philosophers stone, sorcerers stone,

review, harry potter, 2001, philosophers stone, sorcerers stone,
age 11,
big gypo looking creep kicks the door in,
come with me,
i'll make it magic
dont bother getting dressed,

wands are described in the books like cocks,
the heroes have big thick strong long ones,
the villains have short thin bendy ones,

go on grab my wood,
give it a wave,

on with the cock theme,

platform?,
9 and 3/4s,

hymenly grander,
has anyone seen a slimy smelly thing,
oh are you doing something with your wood,
i mean wand,
go on then,
show me,

stand next to your broom,
in a firm voice,
say,
UP UP UP,

rons wood goes up so fast it smacks him in the head,

now,
when youve gotten hold of your broom,
i want you to mount it,
grip it tight,
i dont want you falling off the end,

wait wait wait
quidditch...
7 people
chasers
beaters
seekers
chasers
beating off
suckers
you have to handle the balls with each other,
try to get it in one of three holes,!!!!!!
,
oliver wood,
then hands harry his wood for a whack,

leviOsa
rons beating his wand so much ,
hymenly is worried he will take her eye out,
so demonstrates her OOOoooOOOs,
then shows how to, swish and flick,

quidditch match
hymenly uses her own wood,
strap on?,
to try to murder the teacher that was try to save harrys life!!!

she is evil

mr, filch
there was a time detention would have you dangling by your thumbs in the dungeon,
god i miss the screaming,

hymenly shouts,
petrificus totalus,
and instantly make neville rock hard,

looking into the pit
ron gets white gunk on him
honestly
its from the dog, not hagrid

in the pit
lots of wood
and hymenly bondage

typical, ron gets penetrated by a knight, so hymenly jumps on him