Halloween Vampire Jokes
What do you call a vampire with no teeth? A gum-sucker.
Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He always wanted to work at a place with good "liquid assets."
What did the vampire say to the bartender? "I'll have a Bloody Mary, please."
Why was the math book sad when it met the vampire? Because it had too many problems.
How does a vampire start a letter? "Tomb it may concern..."
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite!
Why did the vampire subscribe to the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
What did the vampire say when he picked up the phone? "I'm calling to make a bite-time appointment."
Why did the vampire become a vegetarian? Because biting necks was a pain in the neck!
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange.
How do you kill a vampire? Go for the jugular!
What do you call a vampire that lives in the kitchen? Count Spatula.
What do you call a vampire who can sing? A vampire bat.
Why did the vampire get a job in a bakery? He kneaded the dough.
What do you call a vampire with no fashion sense? A plain-clothes vampire.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a computer? A lot of byte!
How do vampires get around on Halloween? Blood vessels.
What's a vampire's favorite type of coffee? Decoffinated.
How did the vampire say goodbye to his victim? "Fangs for the memories!"
What do you call a vampire that's always on the internet? A "neck"-tworking vampire.
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