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It has been, it's safe to say, an epic few years for close observers of the Smith family. Once called "the Black Jimmy Stewart" for his bankable nice-guy charm, Will Smith and his clan have officially fled the shores of normalcy for the shoals of the unconventional. No sooner had fans absorbed Jada Pinkett Smith's entanglement with a much younger man, they had to digest her robust discussion of it with her spouse on her Facebook talk show Red Table Talk. Then there was that Oscar ceremony where Smith slapped Chris Rock for joking about his wife, on the same night that he won a career-defining award. Just as the seas were feeling a bit calmer, Pinkett Smith announced that she and Smith, who were married in 1997, have in fact been separated and living "completely separate lives" for seven years.

The revelations come within the pages of Pinkett Smith's memoir, Worthy, which is out on Oct 17. "By the time we got to 2016, we were just exhausted with trying," she told NBC journalist Hoda Kotb, of the reasons behind the split. "I think we were both kind of just still stuck in our fantasy of what we thought the other person should be." The night her husband hit Rock and told him to "keep my wife's name out your f-cking mouth!" was the first time Pinkett Smith had heard him use that word in years, she added.
But when asked why they had waited so long before telling anyone, Pinkett Smith seemed to suggest that the separation was not final, that she and Smith were "still trying to figure out, between the two of us, how to be in partnership." And she told People magazine the two of them have “been doing some really heavy-duty work together. We just got deep love for each other and we are going to figure out what that looks like for us.” As for Smith? "I don't get divorced," he told Red Table Talk in 2018, two years after the couple's apparent separation. (He and his first wife divorced in 1995, which he has said was her decision.) He has not commented on Pinkett Smith's book.

There's a term in marriage scholarship for the kind of arrangement the Smiths appear to have; it's called "ambiguous separation." The couple has not committed to parting ways, nor to figuring how to live together. Some therapists say this situation is more common than people might think. Studies have suggested that between 6% and 18% of still-married American couples have been through a period of separation. Other notable separated but still married people include former Google chairman Eric Schmidt and his philanthropist wife, Wendy.

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