Booth Estranges Diction

Inspired by the urban myth that many aspiring actors and actresses work in restaurants waiting tables while waiting for their “big break.” To us here at CoBaD, it seems like such an awful waste to spend all that time in acting school only to work at an establishment unrelated to their profession. To us it makes far more sense to work at an actor-owned small business establishment such as Electlocution where they get to apply their elocution and diction skills in a real-life setting.Show more

Ella Food-Poisoning: "Hang on, hang on. I sense improvisation here…Oh, good.” – For more on this, see the “I Tried Improvisation, Then I Was Perturbed” sketch.

Waiter: “Your lunch delivery leaves something to be desired, Madame. Try it again, but his time, like an honest to God sex kitten. Like Brigitte Bardot…and more pouting this time.” – Our favorite scenes from Ms. Bardot’s movies were where she was sulky, brooding, pouty and was generally pissed off. We loved those.

Waiter: “I recommend Marlene Dietrich with your duck. Extra breathy. And straddle your chair.” – The chair straddling was made famous by Ms. Dietrich in her 1930 movie “The Blue Angel,” although Ella’s impersonation of Ms. Dietrich was actually inspired by Madeline Kahn’s impersonation of Ms. Dietrich in the 1974 movie “Blazing Saddles.”

Sam Food-Poisoning: “Yond Cassius’s wife has a lean and hungry look: She thinks too much: such women are dangerous. Centurion!! Take her plate!! Seize her salad!!” – Based on Act 1, Scene 2 of William Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar”: “Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look: He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.”

Sam: “’Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more.’ I’ll have the Grand Aioli.” – Brutus’s line from Act 3, Scene 2 of “Julius Caesar.” Sam wishes to make it clear that does not hate the Caesar salad by ordering an entrée, he is merely suggesting in a metaphorical sense that he is hungry for a meatier (seafoodier?) role on the stage. He is also implying to the waiter in the clearly French-themed restaurant that while French cuisine is good (note Ella generally stuck to French cuisine), he simply loves Rome (specifically Italy) more by selecting the French/Italian dish Grand Aioli. Grand Aioli is a fennel, vegetable and seafood dish from Provence, a region in southeast France bordering Italy where Italian and French cuisines (like the Grand Aioli) blend together.

Sam: "I will pass no wine before its time. A Piss-on Rosé, if you please.” - Based on “We will sell no wine before its time,” the tagline for the Paul Masson winery, which Orson Welles promoted in commercials in the late 1970s and early 1980s. His exploits as a pitchman are touched on briefly in the skit “O Crispy Peas.” Mr. Food-Poisoning’s attire in this scene pays tribute to Mercury Theater’s highly acclaimed 1937 production of “Julius Caesar.” In that adaption of Shakespeare’s classic play, the setting is moved forward to the 1930s and portrays Julius Caesar as a fascist dictator and depicts Brutus (played by Orson Welles) as a hero.

Cheferee Ed Hamhock: The ruling at the table is being challenged.” – A sendup of CoBaD’s favorite (now retired) NFL referee, Ed Hoculi. He was nicknamed “Hocules” (a derivation of Hercules) for his rather large, muscular physique (6 feet 2 inches tall, 230 pounds), very unusual for an official. Mr. Hoculi, a lawyer by trade, is known for his comprehensive yet concise explanations of decisions made on the field. CoBaD firmly believes that if you are bringing an individual to a football game that knows absolutely nothing about football, you want to go when someone like Ed Hoculi is the referee. He is good at explaining calls in such a way that the newbie fan can understand while at the same time not insulting the intelligence of the experienced fan. He can at times can even educate the experienced fan; for example, in the 1:27 mark of the Ed Hoculi Over-Explaining Things Compilation link below, he clearly explains why the touchdown was overturned and ruled an incomplete pass. Even the announcers calling the game weren’t aware of the rule. His explanation of overtime rules in the clip that immediately followed (2:08), was quite good too, even though the more boorish fans in the crowd were clearly getting quite restless.

Michael: “Everyone in the restaurant is looking on, X-ing and posting to their Facebook pages with concern…” - Mocks people who break out their cell phones and take to social media and insensitively and selfishly try to insert themselves in a breaking (and sometimes grisly) news story, all for the sake of boosting the number of followers on their X (Twitter) account and views on their Facebook pages, with the hopes of getting their tweets and videos (and perhaps scoring an interview) on the evening news.

Michael: “Meanwhile outside the restaurant traffic in both directions has slowed to a standstill as cars are slowing down to take a look at the scene...As you can see, it’s those that are going down the block, flipping a bitch and coming back around to take another look that are particularly making matters worse…
Color Commentator: Rubbernecking, America’s favorite spectator sport…”

Michael’s comment and the accompanying cartoon rips on individuals who slow down (in both directions) at the scene of an accident to take a look at the damage (also known as rubbernecking). Rubbernecking is not only rude and exacerbates traffic congestion, but it is also dangerous because it means drivers are taking their eyes off of the road. We here at CoBaD don't stare at accidents unless it means we have to navigate through an accident scene directly in our line of sight. We don’t like staring at car accidents any more than we like people stating at us when we get in car accidents. We simply want to show some respect to our fellow drivers. Leave it to enterprising folks like Dr. Steven Milkman to take advantage of such mass idiocy by setting up ticket taking booths on either end of the accident, marketing it as a Drive-Thru Safari and charging exorbitant Disneyland-type admission prices.

Replay booth picture – Behind Ed Hamhock is a framed caricature of Ed Hamhock drawn in the style of Al Hirschfeld. Al Hirschfeld (1903-2003) was famous for his black and white portraits of celebrities. His drawings are often seen in Hollywood themed restaurants.

Cheferee: “The dry Piss-on Rosé with its aromas of cherry and cotton candy, balanced with a very mild floral bouquet and hint of spices, provides a perfect match for a heavy fennel-infused Provençal dish such as Le Grand Aioli.” – The Piss-on Rosé description here is based on the Paul Masson Rosé.

Waiter: “(to Cheferee) Go to hell, Ed. (to Sam) Et tu Brute!” - From “Et tu, Brute?—Then fall, Caesar.” Brutus’s famous line from Act 3, Scene 1 of “Julius Caesar.”

For more on The Fuchsia Stuttering Center, see the “I Tried Improvisation, Then I Was Perturbed” sketch.

References:

Avignon-et-provence.com. The Grand Aioli. https://www.avignon-et-provence.com/en/way-life/provencal-gastronomy/provence-recipes/grand-aioli

Bibard, F. (2022, August 30). How to Order Food in a French Restaurant Like a Local. Talkinfrench.com. https://www.talkinfrench.com/how-to-read-a-french-menu/

Dedaluswine.com. Le Grand Aioli. https://dedaluswine.com/collections/le-grand-aioli

Drink and Pair (2023). Duck à l’Orange & Wine Pairing. https://drinkandpair.com/blog/duck-a-lorange-wine-pairing/

Highlight Heaven. Ed Hoculi Over-Explaining Things Compilation. YouTube.com. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWElFC1zHjs

Paul Masson Rosé. ABC Fine Wine & Spirits. https://www.abcfws.com/paul-masson-rose/723409

Royal Shakespeare Company. Famous Quotes. https://www.rsc.org.uk/julius-caesar/about-the-play/famous-quotes

WhatToWatch. The Funniest: Ed Hochuli's Most Memorable Calls. YouTube.com. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJ1HByJSIkE

Wikipedia. Ed Hoculi. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Hochuli