i no longer wake up every day feeling empty becuz i create

i've always been a pretty dark person
a lotta people can't wait to get away from me
not that i mind you getting away from me
i wanna push em away tho that's why i do it every single time haha
my viewpoint is confusing, depressing n frustrating cos i'm incoherent
jumbling all my words daily
i'll never be as good as i'd like to be but isn't that an everybody w/ a conscience problem
i'm sure they would puke if they heard any more of what i wanted to say
if they knew the truth they couldn't rebuke it
ag is a whole pharmacy of black pills that i pop every day (as you can see)
on my knees every single day n i no longer ask why
i trust God's plan n maybe i should stop blaming the devil for everything
stinkin thinkin...that's an AA slogan
we don't believe in microscopes around here
psych meds turn off the capacity to care which makes you more depressed
i'd rather be emotional all the time than not be able to cry
people obviously don't understand their feelings, otherwise they'd take ownership
this has gotta be the devil fucking w/ my head...again
i wanna find less hurtful things to say
i wish that more people would beat themselves up instead of people online
is this the Holy Spirit or a demonic spirit
shitting on the world is what i do best tho
people have already committed suicide ANYWAY
exaggerating kinda sorta but still serious
life n biology n mental health NOT taken seriously but words esp
i don't feel comfortable w/ my stage presence at all
it's ain't nothin about my experience that's comfortable
i shed discomfort, which explains why people don't like me
AN ANT JUST BIT ME! little things damnit