Why Online Dating Will Ruin You & What to do Instead (Never Ghosted Again Audiobook Ch. 4)

In Chapter 4 of "Never Ghosted Again" by Cairo Copeland, the author explores the topic of online dating and its potential pitfalls. The chapter begins by acknowledging that many dating coaches advocate for the use of online dating as a tool for finding romantic partners. However, Copeland presents a counterargument, suggesting that online dating may do more harm than good.Show more

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The author argues that people often turn to online dating when they have difficulty with offline dating due to social awkwardness or fear of rejection. It was initially created to address the discomfort people felt in approaching others in person to express their romantic intentions. Copeland acknowledges that online dating may have been a viable option in the past but claims that it is no longer effective.

He contends that attractive individuals (referred to as "9s and 10s") have abandoned online dating due to the high volume of explicit and unwelcome messages from less desirable individuals. As a result, online dating platforms are now primarily used by individuals who may not meet the same attractiveness criteria ("3s to 6s" on the female side).

Copeland suggests that online dating has exacerbated the effects of the "Fempowerment Mandate" on women. If a woman who considers herself a "4" attracts an "8," she may perceive herself as an "8" going forward, creating unrealistic standards for potential partners.

The author also discusses the prevalence of certain negative mindsets that can develop through online dating. For example, when messages go unanswered, some individuals may develop a belief that they are unworthy or unattractive, leading to a scarcity mindset. Copeland argues that such mindsets can be crippling and unproductive.

He highlights red flags often found on women's online dating profiles, such as statements like "I've had my fun, but now I'm ready to settle down." Copeland interprets this as an admission that the woman has a history of seeking validation from less desirable partners and now seeks stability.

The chapter concludes with a warning that women who have experienced feelings of unworthiness and rejection in the past may turn to online dating as a last resort to find "good men." This, Copeland argues, contributes to the common lament of "Where have all the good men gone?"

Finally, the author emphasizes that online dating can lead to women viewing men as easily replaceable due to the abundance of options available to them. This perception can make it challenging for men to appear irresistible and may lead to an increased prevalence of ghosting in online dating.

Chapter 4 of "Never Ghosted Again" provides a critical perspective on the limitations and potential drawbacks of online dating, encouraging readers to consider the impact of online dating on their mindset and self-worth while also offering advice on how to differentiate themselves in the online dating world.

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