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Shepherd of My Soul
I wrote the chorus to this song while I was leading worship at a local church. I guess you could say I've about lost my faith in every construct of man that I used to cling to, and all that remains is the incorruptible, unchanging conviction that whatever I do, whatever I say, if I fall or stand, speak or keep my silence, sin or hit the bulls eye by God's grace-God has pledged an eternal vow to never leave nor forsake me, to love me for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in riches and poverty. That is all I have left. When I read Genesis now I don't read it from the critical mind of a person trying to prove that God exists. God has already placed the knowledge of His reality in my heart. I read it by the grace of God's law which is written on my heart of flesh: Oh taste and see that the Lord is Good! It's funny I still say "He" and the only corporeal forms God has ever appeared to me in is light, and water, and wind, and a ladder stretching to heaven, a figure burning, fire falling, the writing on a supernatural tabernacle, and... a woman who visits me in my dreams to show me things that only a mother can teach. But I say "He" because I will not call God it, and "He" speaks of an order. And the Divine Triune is a Divine Order that the ancient Peoples, like the Celts, understood. God has never abandoned humanity for a solitary moment. If God were to turn His head away, we would cease to breath, to awaken, to be. And in the hidden face of God revealed in Jesus Christ we find a humble God who wins an eternal victory for us, when He places his feet on the mount of olives (Gethsemene), the mountain splits in two (zechariah). I don't know what Gethsemane you are facing today, that lonely dark night of your soul. But reach out to Jesus. The star that falls that I sing about in this song is Satan and its influence. That system of abandonment and separation from God is the system of the world, it's a system of hell. As a Christian Universalist I can tell you that I believe, and have had multiple divine encounters that have cemented my belief in this, that the only purpose of suffering is to lead you to the Garden of Gethsemene where, for the joy set before Him, Christ received the marriage cup. And from His pierced side on Calvary the new Creation, His Bride, you, my beloved Brothers and Sisters- You were reborn. You belong to God and no power in heaven or hell or on earth can ever separate you from the Love of God that is in Christ Jesus the Lord. That, Beloved one of God, is the Gospel. And when it was preached, before Jesus even died on the cross, our Lord said "I saw Satan falling like lightening from heaven, the star of the morning." So our Lord watched that star fall, but He turned and caught your heart. So you will be with Him where He is, and nothing, not your will or the will of man, or the will of the devil, can change that truth.
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