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Unhinged Rantings of a Nobel Laureate afflicted with Mad Cow Disease #12 - "SGT. VERNON DEAN!"
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A monologue from the Screenplay - "Bring Me the Heads of 3 Jizzers".
INT. BENNY’S HOLE BAR, DISTRICT 2, HCMC - NIGHT
GG (55), owner and barkeep, tends bar. Of mixed race. White and Vietnamese. Tall. Skinny. Hair down to his buttocks. Incapable of controlling his life, he “needs” to dominate, “father”, and test others. An over confident braggart, far too cocky for his own good. Everything he says; partly truth, partly fiction, a walking contradiction. A smug “Asshole” who can never take a lick of what he dishes. He wears a T-shirt that has a huge letter G on it.
KODAMA (V.O.)
G.G. The G. G-string. G-spot. G-boy. You get the G drift. Loves sex and films. A real movie buff. He loves the butt stuff too. Just doesn’t realize it yet.
A TV plays a scene from “Deliverance” starring Burt Reynolds.
TV
Come on. Squeal. Squeal.
KODAMA (V.O.)
That infamous rape scene from Deliverance. Where hillbillies force a man to squeal like a pig as they fuck his ass. A 1973 classic. G’s fav. Pretty obvious why. Like macho man Lewis, no acting stretch for Burt Reynolds... you’re never quite sure if G’s a tough guy or just a blowhard.
He flips through an issue of “Guns & Ammo” Magazine and he strokes his pet cat.
INSERT MAGAZINE - Armed men next to scantily clad women.
GG looks up and stares right at us, the audience.
GG
What’ya cunts lookin’ at? What? What does G.G. stand for? By the end of this piece of pornographic exploitation you’ll find out.
(beat)
But, here’s a hint. Like ma Daddy, I’m a US Marine. Retired. And ma daddy was SGT. Vernon Dean. That’s right. Initials V.D. And that son of a bitch...
GG looks down and kisses a crucifix around his neck.
GG
Sorry grandma.
GG looks back at us.
GG
Now, that spiked cat’s prick even had a belt buckle announcing them initials to any hooker, on her knees, unbuckling him to do, what she was getting paid to do.
(beat)
Pops would always tell them hoes... he was scared of no fuckin’ V.D, coz - he WAS fucken V.D.!
GG eyes a photograph of Andrew Tate, hanging on the wall.
GG
Andrew Tate. The legend. A real man’s man. A committed asshole.
(beat)
But long before this unrepentant asshole led men out of darkness as the baddest motherfucker in the valley, there was the original G, O.G. Frank T. J. Mackey.
Frank T.J. Mackey is the fictional dating guru in “Magnolia”. GG keeps his gaze on us, but now as Frank T. J. Mackey, schooling us with his unique perspective on seduction.
GG
Respect the cock. And tame the cunt. I am the one in charge. I am the one who says yes. It is universal. It is evolutional. It is anthropological. It is biological. It is animal.
(GG gyrates his hips, thrusting)
WE... ARE... MEN.., AH!
GG snaps back to reality and focuses on the DRUNKS and SLUTS populating his bar. Boozing. Groping. Ballooning. A drunk, white BACKPACKER (20’s), has his hand way up a BAR-GIRL’s (18) skirt. She’s zonked out of her mind by the steady flow of nitrous oxide a balloon hanging off her lips provides. She clueless to what’s being done to her privates.
GG
(talking to himself)
Drinking. Sucking. Fucking. Finger banging like it’s 1999. Oops, out of time.
The Bar-girl succumbs to unconsciousness, slumping over the Backpacker. His cue to finger bang her even more vigorously.
GG
(talking to himself)
In some parts, this would constitute rape. Not here. In the wild, wild East. Weinstein should’ve stayed in the ‘Nam.
The Backpacker retches, vomiting all over the Bar-girl.
GG
(shaking his head)
The fuckin’ human waste I gotta serve. Euro trash and dirt poor village sluts.
And who’s the sorry cunt that’s gotta clean up the cum?
-
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