Episode 1519: Can Catholics be Narcistic?

We as Catholic have to deal with some kind of mental disorders in our lives but are these disorders all natural or are they fed by something else and that is why I ask the question “Can Catholics be narcistic?” Much in the same way “What is depression caused by?”
Today people want human explanations for everything and as Dr Flannik explained many of his clients come to him after the other secular psychiatrist have failed.

You may be asking why I touched on this topic. A friend of mine suffered in a very narcistic marriage (who is male) and is currently working to help a cousin (who is female) that seems to be suffering from a form of Narcissism. So I thought first to reach out to Dr. Flannik to discuss this topic but due to his very busy schedule I’m going it alone.

So let’s first define what Narcissism is:
Narcissism refers to a personality trait characterized by an excessive or exaggerated sense of self-importance, a preoccupation with one's own needs, desires, and achievements, and a lack of empathy for others. It is named after the Greek mythological figure Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection.

Key features of narcissism may include:

Grandiosity: A person with narcissistic traits often has an inflated sense of self-worth and believes they are exceptionally important or special.

Need for Admiration: They seek constant validation, praise, and admiration from others to reinforce their self-esteem.

Lack of Empathy: Difficulty in understanding or recognizing the feelings and needs of others. They may be insensitive or indifferent to the emotions of others.

Sense of Entitlement: They believe they are entitled to special treatment, and they may expect others to cater to their needs and desires without question.

Manipulative Behavior: Narcissistic individuals may use manipulation, exploitation, or coercion to achieve their own goals, often at the expense of others.

Fragile Self-esteem: Despite outward displays of confidence, narcissists often have a delicate self-esteem that is easily wounded by criticism or perceived slights.

Difficulty Maintaining Relationships: Their self-centered behavior can strain relationships, as they may struggle to form deep, reciprocal connections with others.

Fantasies of Power, Success, or Beauty: They may harbor unrealistic fantasies of achieving great power, wealth, success, or physical beauty.

It's important to note that narcissism exists on a spectrum, ranging from traits that are relatively mild and manageable to those that are severe and may meet the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which is a recognized mental health diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, often beginning in early adulthood and present in various contexts. It can significantly impair a person's functioning and relationships.

It's also worth noting that narcissism, in and of itself, is not always negative. Some degree of self-esteem and confidence is healthy and necessary for individual well-being. However, when these traits become extreme and are accompanied by a lack of consideration for others, it can be problematic.

So let’s look at the Catholic perspective of Narcissism. It can be associated with several of the traditional seven deadly sins, particularly pride and envy. Here's how narcissism aligns with these sins:

Pride (Superbia): This is often considered the root sin from which the others arise. Narcissism is closely related to pride in that it involves an excessive focus on oneself, an inflated sense of self-importance, and a lack of humility. Narcissists often believe they are superior to others and seek constant admiration and validation.

Envy (Invidia): Envy is the feeling of discontent or resentment towards someone else's possessions, qualities, or achievements. Narcissists may experience envy when they perceive others as being more successful, talented, or admired. They may become competitive and resentful towards those they view as threats to their own self-worth.

Additionally, some aspects of narcissistic behavior may also relate to other deadly sins:

Wrath (Ira): While not always a defining characteristic of narcissism, some narcissists can display anger and hostility, especially when they feel their superiority or self-image is being challenged.

Greed (Avaritia): Although not a core feature of narcissism, some narcissists may exhibit a sense of entitlement and an insatiable desire for attention, admiration, or material possessions.

Lust (Luxuria): While narcissism primarily revolves around self-love and admiration, it may not directly relate to lust. However, it's possible for narcissists to use their charm and charisma in manipulative ways to achieve their self-centered goals.

Gluttony (Gula): Gluttony, typically associated with excessive consumption of food or drink, is not directly linked to narcissism. However, in a metaphorical sense, narcissists may be seen as "consumers" of attention and validation.

Sloth (Acedia): Sloth refers to a spiritual or emotional apathy or indifference towards one's duties and responsibilities. While narcissists can be driven to achieve their own goals, they may display a lack of empathy or concern for the needs and feelings of others, which could be viewed as a form of spiritual apathy.

I will get back to Narcissism but let me first discuss the marriage and then I will come back to Narcissism.

How a husband and wife should treat each other.

Saint Paul, in his writings in the New Testament of the Bible, does provide guidance on how husbands and wives should treat each other. The most notable passage regarding this topic is found in the Epistle to the Ephesians, specifically in Ephesians 5:22-33. Here, Saint Paul emphasizes the importance of mutual love, respect, and submission within the marital relationship. After reading Pauls passage I will explain how Narcissism fly’s in the face of this.

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind—yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, because we are members of his body., "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.", This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church.
Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

In this passage, Saint Paul encourages wives to submit to their husbands, and he instructs husbands to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church. He draws a parallel between the relationship of Christ and the church to that of a husband and wife, emphasizing the depth of love and care that should exist in a marriage.
Many great saints throughout Catholic history have written about marriage and the relationship between husbands and wives, often drawing from the teachings of Saint Paul and other biblical passages. Their writings reflect a deep understanding of the spiritual dimension of marriage and offer practical advice for living out the Christian vocation of matrimony. But let me focus on just one’s perspective on marriage:

St. John Chrysostom (349-407):
St. John Chrysostom, known for his eloquent sermons, spoke extensively about marriage. He emphasized the importance of mutual respect and harmony between spouses. He also highlighted the role of husbands in sacrificially loving their wives.
St. John Chrysostom, also known as John Chrysostom or "Golden-Mouthed," was a renowned early Christian theologian and Archbishop of Constantinople in the 4th century. He wrote extensively on various aspects of Christian life, including marriage. Here are some key points from his writings on marriage:

The Purpose of Marriage:

St. John Chrysostom viewed marriage as a sacred institution established by God for the mutual support and companionship of spouses. He emphasized that marriage is not merely a social contract, but a divine union.

The Importance of Mutual Respect:

Chrysostom stressed the need for mutual respect and honor between spouses. He taught that husbands and wives should recognize each other's worth and value in the eyes of God.
The Role of Love and Sacrifice:

He emphasized the centrality of love in marriage, drawing parallels between the love of spouses and the love of Christ for the Church. He encouraged husbands to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loved the Church.
Fidelity and Faithfulness:

Chrysostom emphasized the importance of marital fidelity. He taught that spouses should remain faithful to one another and avoid any form of adultery or unfaithfulness.
The Power of Prayer in Marriage:

He encouraged couples to pray together and seek God's guidance and blessing for their marriage. Chrysostom believed that a strong spiritual foundation was crucial for a healthy and enduring marital relationship.
Addressing Challenges in Marriage:

Chrysostom acknowledged that marriage could be challenging at times, but he believed that with faith, prayer, and mutual respect, couples could overcome difficulties and grow stronger in their union.
The Family as a Domestic Church:

Chrysostom saw the family as a "domestic church" where faith is practiced and lived out. He believed that parents have a responsibility to nurture the faith of their children and lead them in the ways of God.
Avoiding Excessive Attachment to Wealth:

He cautioned against placing too much emphasis on material wealth or possessions within the marriage, stressing that true riches come from a life lived in accordance with God's will.
The Example of Christ and the Church:
Chrysostom often drew parallels between the relationship of Christ and the Church and that of a husband and wife. He believed that the selfless love and sacrifice demonstrated by Christ should be mirrored in marital relationships.
It's important to note that while St. John Chrysostom's writings offer valuable insights into Christian marriage, his teachings are also situated in the cultural and historical context of his time. Therefore, modern interpretations may take into account contemporary understandings of marriage and family life.

How does the Traditional Catholic church view narcistic people
The Traditional Catholic Church, offer guidance on how individuals should strive for virtuous and selfless behavior. When dealing with individuals who exhibit narcissistic tendencies, Catholics are encouraged to approach them with charity, compassion, and prudence.

Here are some general principles that may guide the Traditional Catholic Church's view on narcissistic individuals:

Recognition of Human Dignity: The Church teaches that every human being is created in the image and likeness of God and possesses inherent dignity. This includes individuals with narcissistic traits. Catholics are called to respect and honor this dignity in all people.

Catholic Charity and Compassion: The Church emphasizes the importance of showing love and compassion to all, even those who may exhibit challenging behavior. This includes individuals with narcissistic tendencies. It is seen as an opportunity for growth in virtue and a reflection of Christ's love.

Prayer and Spiritual Growth: Catholics are encouraged to pray for individuals with narcissistic traits, asking for their conversion and spiritual healing. The Church believes in the transformative power of prayer and the possibility of personal growth and change.

Setting Boundaries: While it is important to approach individuals with narcissistic tendencies with compassion, it is also important to set healthy boundaries. This can be necessary for the well-being of both parties.

Seeking Professional Help: The Church acknowledges the value of psychological and therapeutic interventions for individuals struggling with mental health issues, including narcissistic traits. Seeking professional help is considered a responsible and prudent course of action.

The Virtue of Humility: Traditional Catholic teaching emphasizes the virtue of humility, which is seen as the antidote to pride and self-centeredness, characteristic traits of narcissism. Humility encourages individuals to recognize their dependence on God and their responsibility to love and serve others.

Ultimately, the Traditional Catholic Church aims to guide its members towards living virtuously, in imitation of Christ, and to navigate complex interpersonal relationships with charity and wisdom. But feel free to tell them to Just stop it and fill their daily life with prayer and asked Christ and the Blessed Mother for help.