Hey there! Thank you for joining me and my emotional support vodka as we travel through

TraderJill (Leigh) Pronouns: Wtf/Is/Wrong/With/You
@LadyJustice4512
Hey there! Thank you for joining me and my emotional support vodka as we travel through Dante's inferno and his 9 circles of hell for your Top 10 News Stories of the Week. (Click for all 10)

1. UAW goes on strike against all three automakers in a historic move. Their demands include: 40% raise, 32 hr work week, and significant benefits increase. In unrelated news, big 3 to tour multiple factory sites in Mexico and China. I'm sure these workers will not get laid off in the near future due to this move.... said no one ever.

2. Representative Lauren Boebert caught on night vision camera in darkened theater being groped by her BF. She must be expelled from Congress immediately! No consenting adult has ever done anything like this. I have never done anything like this! (Forgive me for lying, Jesus. I'll go to confession tomorrow. I swear!)

3. An armed man posing as a federal agent was arrested at RFK Jr event in Los Angeles. When asked for comment, Biden laughed and said, "That's a nice campaign RFK Jr is running. It would be a shame if something happened to him." He then stamped the continued denial for secret service protection typically given to anyone running for president.

4. The US Supreme Court issued an emergency order, allowing the Biden administration to once again interact with social media companies to censor Americans. The order came a single day after Biden's impeachment inquiry, and his son hunter was indited on several felony gun charges. Once again, the highest court in the land reassures American citizens they are not at all corrupt and on the take by upholding a little thing called the First Amendment. Oh, wait....

5. RFK Jr. accuses the DNC of rigging primaries in favor of Joe Biden and hints at a possible nuclear option running as a third-party candidate and tanking the Democrat's chances of keeping the White House. Messing with RFK. Jr appears about as dangerous as walking into Kamala's bedroom without a Hazmat suit.

6. Doctor Peter McCullough testifies in front of the EU Parliament, stating that "Covid vaccines and future boosters are not safe for human use." These vaccines are about as safe as drinks with Bill Cosby or a tour of Epstein island as a single woman alone.

7. McCarthy is finally coerced (threatened) into a Biden impeachment inquiry, proving once and for all some men actually are born in the wrong bodies. When asked for comment, a rep for the trans community said, "See? We told you!"

8. CDC advisers recommend new Covid-19 vaccines for virtually all americans. The new variant reportedly affects taste. And just like that, everyone's failed love lives are explained.

9. G20 announces plans to impose digital currencies and id's worldwide. In a bid of stunning selflessness, the G20 members continue to create problems they'll later ride in and pretend to save us from.

10. The doctor Harvey Risch, an epidemiologist from Yale, reports an aggressive rise in "turbo cancers," especially among younger people post vaccination. At this point, we can all agree that these jabs are more detrimental to your health than a date with Charles Manson, appetizers with Ted Bundy or a midnight Rendezvous with Paul Pelosi and a hammer.

Thank you for joining me!

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9:10 PM · Sep 16, 2023
https://twitter.com/LadyJustice4512/status/1703214937017897043