River of wine flows through Portuguese town after accident

The small, sleepy Portuguese town of São Lourenco do Bairro became the proud and baffled new owner of an impromptu river of wine after two tanks in a local distillery exploded. The mishap sent 2.2 million liters (over 12.5 million glasses, or, in Nancy Pelosi terms, about 3) torrenting down the town’s main road and into people’s homes. One home reportedly suffered an entire basement full of wine, while many others were left Googling ‘how to get red wine out of a carpet, walls and ceiling,’ and subsequently ‘where can I buy 2.2 million liters of vinegar.’

The spill caused a minor environmental emergency when the fine wine Rhine appeared to be headed towards a local river, where it would likely cause a relaxing time for the wildlife within before killing them shortly after. The wine was instead diverted to a nearby field from where it was later dredged, which may or may not have told the emergency services how much it loved them while singing ‘Danny Boy.’

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