"Last of the Souls in Earth People" [AUDIO] 09/02/2023 acoustic dreadnought practice Lome Marsupial

09/02/2023
instrumental practice,
backdrop for multilayered piece.

recorded on camera audio, not audio interface.

hello, as we watch free speech being eroded and the internet becoming a place of stifled, contained censorship.
I had written out to several venues and local places of music endeavor and found the ease of being blocked, censored and in a way, on the no-no list for the very very rich and well-off kinds of musicians and music venues around this area.
It is very easy to hear the "you are not wanted or welcome here" and yet some of the reasons why are never explained.
I am wishing and working to find a better ground for musical expression, healing and also collaboration.
Given so many ongoings in personal life I am having to work through and in a way supervise, much which is not putting myself first in any of it,
I am still in the process of playing and recording when ever I can.

Some of my song lyrics and output might have a bit of some scorn and outpush to it as of late. (Not this song in particular, as this is just an instrumental. I recorded it on a camera in a quick pace setting.
I am trying to think of maintaining certain playing styles,
and what exactly to do with it.
I am not a trust fun kid, political martyr, overtly social type, and so on.
I would like to write and possibly journal some day and in some way about many things I notice about local music scenes and what you "have to do" to really get anywhere within them, and also about the music "industry," especially now, compared to the tail end of its last sight of being really prosperous or, more so,
if you can relate to sensing this,
when it was very much mores raw and organic.

It appears to me to be very, very nepotistic now, and also super super safe.
Having raw emotions and sometimes unsettling seeming jarrs in some of the story songs, I feel an ever growing split away from the sort of soft-sided trust fund hipster kid type of thing.
It has not come full on yet in a kind of out loud and confrontational setting.
But I am definitely feeling as the "odd man out" for simply wishing to write and develop songs, to have songs and music at the forefront, and to leave the other things behind, like being in the "in-club" or doing what is the hottest right now or doing what, I really think, leaves music last, or having maybe some bit of rawness in tact, and leaving fuck ups in songs, and experimentation, that kind of thing.

Likely I need to leave the particular area en whole and in general.
Without having too many "landing pads" for this, as others tend to have open to them to sort of change their lives around, it is super difficult.
In my own mind is seems a good confirmation to feel as some kind of eager bastard child still with life force and a will to live very loud or active, left within me, but being that outlier or sort of fucked over through and through in many "local scenes" is something you can't practically build anything from or keep going by forever.
People who "preach goodness!" so loudly
really can be some of the most hateful assholes I have ever seen,
to sort of put it mildly (is that mildly, or bluntly?)

I do not think the brunt force of local or independent music scenes can really be recaptured as to what the end of maybe 2000-2005 had. It is very very very trendsy now. A social media image kind of thing.