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Sex as Moms - Pregnant sex, postpartum sex, low sex-drive, talking to your partner about it, + pain!
A conversation to normalize the issues we face surrounding sex as moms. Pregnancy sex, postpartum sex, when you want to have sex but your partner doesn’t, when they want to have sex but you don’t, hormones, pleasure in sex, guilt about sex, and more.
***THIS VIDEO IS NOT FOR MY PERSONAL FAMILY OR IN-LAWS 😂 ***
Further thoughts on sex as mom that I forgot to say in the video:
- Use lubricant (coconut oil works great) especially because hormones in the first year postpartum can make it hard for sex to feel comfortable, so lube can help things move better.
- Some moms suggested using sex toys to enhance the experience because it was hard to experience pleasure with penetration alone - this could be general sex advice for women as a whole, not just moms.
- In our conversations about sex this week people had conflicting views about whether or not sex should hurt in the first year after you have a baby. Some women suggested that it was natural for sex to hurt as the scar tissue needs to be "massaged" into a place of comfort, similar to how your body needs physical therapy after a surgery. The moms in this camp suggested having intercourse regularly (after approved by a doctor) and also some perineal massage. Other women said that sex shouldn't hurt and the pain could mean there is an internal injury - these women suggested seeing a pelvic floor therapist to be sure.
- There are supplements you can take to help sex drive. I have tried a few but don't have any recommendations because nothing seemed to make a huge difference. My sex drive got stronger once my kids got a bit older and we were sleeping more.
- Some women suggested taking fish oil, eating salmon, or beef liver supplements to help sex drive.
- A few women said that they couldn't feel anything during sex postpartum, as if their vagina was a "gaping hole", but after some processing they realized that prior to having a baby their pelvic floor was very tight (could not even use a tampon) and now after vaginal birth it is not so tight. They are seeing a pelvic floor specialist to ensure everything is alright but in the meantime moms in this position could explore sexual pleasure by stimulating their clitoris (yep .. just said clitoris) versus focusing so much on pleasure through penetration.
The main take away from these conversations has been that EVERYTHING IS NORMAL. You want to have a lot of sex? You hate sex and don't want any? You feel touched out? Your sex hurts after having a baby? You want sex more than your husband? You feel insecure postpartum? Low sex-drive? High sex-drive? Guilt after sex? Guilt for not having sex? Fantasies? It's all normal.
Don't forget to share with your friends and family.
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PS. IF YOU HAVE SEX ADVICE FOR MOMS PLEASE LEAVE THEM IN THE COMMENTS :)
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Suggested Videos:
▶️6 Tips for a Happier Postpartum:
https://youtu.be/AflafieNzOA
▶️ 6 Tips for a Happier Pregnancy:
https://youtu.be/8iGRMoYlS2Y
▶️How I Weaned My Son From His Pacifier:
https://youtu.be/VdRJhbwP_nM
✨Relevant Hashtags:
#postpartumsex #sexasamom #motherhood #baby101 #jessicahover
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