Examining My Heart

Examining My Heart

August 22nd, 2023

Hello May the Lord bless you, dear family, with joyful thoughts, with creative thoughts, and with hope in these times.

Well, speaking of being creative, I was taking a look at myself today–my conscience, checking my conscience-And I saw some things I did not like at all-infact, they were very depressing.

So, when I came into prayer, I said to the Lord, Gee Lord...getting a look at the real me is no fun. I have not lived up to my calling and I am deeply sorry. You know the things that hold me bound, please help me overcome them. And I am sorry I missed You earlier, when You began to give me a word. I just-sometimes I have such a short attention span. Please have pity and increase my ability to concentrate and follow through.

He answered me. “Are you finished?”

You know I could go on and on with what I am beginning to see that I want to change, but it would be so depressing.

“OK then, now that you are finished, for the time being, Let Me tell you how pleased I am with the courage you displayed in looking on these things. My dearest, what you long for will only become possible to you in Heaven. So, I want you to keep your eye on these faults in your dealings with others and forget about them.”

And meaning, He wants me to make sure I do not repeat them, but then drop it and forget about them, do not put any attention on that.

“In other words, do not lament and fester over these things Clare, just do your best and keep going. Let Me handle your sanctification, and as you work with the sanctification of others, so shall I work with you, so that you have nothing to fear about forgetting yourself and abandoning all to Me.

“To the degree you lavish your care and concern on others, to that degree will I do the same for you. Spend time with them. Listen, listen deeply as I will reveal to you the deep hurts that have wreaked havoc in their life. Be a doctor of soul’s beloved. Care for them as you care for your animals.”

But Lord, they are not fuzzy.

“Neither are you, by theway!” He answered. “But I still lavish My love on you. My comfort, My warm fuzzies if you will, are in the life of obedience to My known and suspected will. A soul who lives each moment that way, makes Me warm and fuzzy, and glowing inside.”

Wow, thank You for telling me that, and as He said that immediately things came to mind that I could do to make Him happy, little things, but they carry such a clout.

“Yes, My Love, and I do need to be made happy with all this darkness in the world. Little things, little details, mean a lot to Me, this cheers Me to no end. To see a soul, pick up the hints about what would make Me happy, and diligently execute them is like a medicine to My endless wounds from the ingratitude of souls.”

Oh Lord, I want this, I want to love you this way. Please give me a longing for this attribute so I can show my gratitude for Who You are and how You have nourished and tenderly corrected us.

“As you do this, My Love, you will find your strength begin to return to you.”

I need it Lord, so desperately. It is when I have an abundance of strength that I can reach out and stretch to do these little things I recognize every day but require more strength than I have.

He continued, “Love knows no burdens, when you are deeply in love, nothing is burdensome, rather it is a delight to execute. The enemy has managed to turn all of you inward on yourselves, when I want you turned outward to others. Of course, this can only happen when your concern is more for them, or for Me, than for yourself. I have seen you; I know you, and the lengths that you will go through to execute the littlest detail, just to make it right. But the years have taken a toll on you, and you are doing well just to keep up with the necessities, rather than reaching for the cherry on top.”

Oh Lord, I really need this, I need it, I need it! I want this. The extra mile, the cherry on top, and the little things that make life special. Please help me.

He continued, “That is My intention Beloved, that is fully My intention. And you will find that something stirs from deep within to answer that call, to go the extra mile, to pick that cherry from the top of the tree. There isa longing in you to lavish love, but it has been dampened by the enemy.”

How so Lord?

“Distractions, thinking about yourself...curiosity, following butterflies, getting hung on non-essentials, paying too much attention to the details in your own life, unnecessary details derail you. This is a discipline you need help to master. So many things do not come into being when you follow your fancies. Advertisers know this so they entrap you. For instance, the snake with the bulge in its belly. Did knowing what was in the snake’s belly in any way contribute to your music or to your mission or to souls?”

No.

“Well, you see, this is where you are vulnerable. People study these techniques to get you hooked, and you are one little fish that loves every kind of bait. But this is what I want you to do. When you are tempted to follow a link, ask yourself, "Does this have any bearing on my mission?" And if the answer is, ‘No.’ do not fall for it. You tend to justify your little side trips by saying, ‘This will only take a minute.’ That should warn you that you have departed from the path, the path of fulfilling your dreams, the path of making Me ecstatically happy with you.

“Many people have the false notion that I need nothing to be happy and complete. How far from the truth is that? I created you to fellowship with Me, because I longed for companionship. I get extreme joy and satisfaction from My interactions with My creation. For instance, when you complete a song and it is just right, you feel a special satisfaction. When I see the antics of kittens playing, I laugh and feel fulfilled that what I caused to come into being has life of its own that is pure and joyful. How do you feel when one of your cats licks your hand affectionately?”

I derive great pleasure from that, Lord.

“And so, I derive great pleasure when I experience your goodness, your happiness and fulfillment. Things are as they should be, and they bring joy to Me and to others. This is what I am asking you to pursue, my love, and to leave these other things behind.

“Beware of these distractions, they are there to snag you and you do not realize how far astray you will go from just one thing, because one thing leads to another to another to another, three hours later you wake up and say, ‘I should have been working on music, what in the world am I doing?’ That is what I am talking about.

“So please, limit yourself with distractions, and I will help you and derive great joy from using your efforts to do so.”

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