"Is This All We Have Left?" Dancing with the "Stars" Season 9 Announcement (Lost Commercial)

Monday. MONDAY. MONDAY! 16 New Stars on ABC's Dancing with the "Stars" Premiere Event Promo Commercial. I can't believe they did "The Matrix" thing. Guys, it was done in Shrek. It's been like 10 years since The Matrix came out (when this was made). Just let it go. It was a good film. And there was only one of them. Definitely not another two. And then definitely not a desperate cash grab 20 years later that made puppies sad. ONLY ONE!

The One:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133093/

The...."Stars"....I don't know who a lot of these people are.

Donny Osmond

Kathy Ireland

Macy Gray (kinda got screwed on the billing. She barely shows up- hard to pause to even see it)

Mark Dacascos?

Ashley Hamilton- (Man) [I've never understood how Ashley is a unisex name. I've known more male Ashley's than female. WHY DO YOU KEEP NAMING THEM THAT?]

Natalie Coughlin

Mya- (thank you for short name for not liking typing much long words)

Kelly Osbourne

Chuck Liddell- (Is he any relation to Mike Lindell of I love pillows fame?) https://www.ilovepillow.com/ *also this unrelated pillow site has a rewards program...Who is buying so many pillows that they are getting "pillow rewards?" I think if you are buying that many pillows you have a problem. Look at you and your fancy pillows, like a Frenchman. I just use a roll of BOUNTY paper towels- LIKE AN AMERICAN.

Tom Delay- Wasn't he like a senator or something? I bet he was eliminated the first round. They were like "OMG we only have 15 """"""""""""""stars"""""""""""""" we need one more." And then some guy was like "Eh yo, my uncle is Tom Delay, that's how I got this internship at ABC/Disney/Fox/TheyOwnEverythingNow and he would probably do it. Him and Aunt Sarah aren't getting along right now. And then they were like *takes puff from cigar* "Fine, but get rid of him after the first round." And they were okay with that.

Louie Vito- He is really close to Louis Vuitton. I would just change my name to that. It's only a few letters, so it's less traumatic than normal name changes.

Debi Mazar

Joanna Krupa

Aaron Carter

Melissa Joan Hart- Of Sabrina the teenage Witch fame. When she got older she became sabrina the weight loss spokeswitch for slim fast, or nutrisystem or something. I can't remember. She seems nice though. America's sweetheart.

Michael Irvin

Is that all of them? Did I get all the stars? I'm not going back and checking.

Spoilers:
https://dancingwiththestars.fandom.com/wiki/Dancing_with_the_Stars_9