1year out of Our last #Treatment for #drugs - We went in for something entirely new, #Schizophrenia

We've spent a lot of time lately thinking about Ourself, a quite indifferent endeavor when under a selfish guise, though when practiced in the form of reflection for reflections sake; for the sole purpose of pontification, it can essentially become a gateway into selflessness. We've spent much of Our days investigating what's real and what isn't. This is both in the context of distinguishing what is true from what is false, what is Real from what is fake, what works & what’s broken. An act of embodying the closest thing one can manage to ‘researcher’ before journeying into the confines of one's own place in the world. To detach from the self-identity We’ve created since Our birth. Figuring, if indeed We created ‘Who We are’… it’s as much of a man-made construct as anything else outside of nature; the difference between our biology and Our personality. (Consequentially, a co-occurring effect is that it becomes easier to distinguish between those people who are actively working towards the ‘truth’, the ‘good’, and those who may still be struggling to determine the difference. We had to let go of the self-imposed confines of Our character for Our concept of ‘Self’ to fail in comparison to other man-made, tangible, materially physical reality.
We find it all to unfortunate that so many people fail to question their own beliefs, (especially about themselves!). There’s a variety of rationale propelling this philosophy, not the least of which is Fear. Just as folks are afraid of what they don’t understand, We’re also afraid of how the world sees us. In fact, it’s arguably more about how We believe the world sees us. We often incorporate different facets of our personalities at different times, some psychologists have taken to calling these ‘masks’. It’s estimated that the average individual in Western society ‘wears’ up to nine different ‘masks’ on a regular basis. These so called ‘masks’ are appropriately named as a mask is often part of a costume. If We were to put on a façade when around certain groups of people, the group will develop a false idea of who you are. This is very convenient when one is worried about rejection & ridicule, fore if the group was to offend your character… it wouldn’t really be Your character that’s in question. When We wear a false face We intentionally, (rarely unknowingly), chose to lie about who We are. Sure, the specifics of the ‘lie’ might be considerably ‘harmless’, but when one engages in this behavior their robbing those people of their right to the truth. The ramifications can be played out on a massive scale as We see groups of people being manipulated into adopting a ‘false image’ of what their agenda truly is. This isn’t as rare as one might think, it occurs about as often as the negative portrayal of any particular group.
Interestingly, the ruby-red-ramble you’ve just read was written less than one month before We experienced Our first real psychological breakdown; stress induced & seemingly out of nowhere, One day Our brain sort of short-circuited. Our doctors have convinced Us that it was the result of both extreme amounts of pressure from the specifics of entering into ‘new parenthood’ with an individual who wore the ultimate mask… Diagnosed with ‘NPD’, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Our sons mother chose to create an elaborate lie that ultimately took Our son away & landed Us in trouble with the law for the first time in years & years, (since Our active addiction). We were in a state of psychosis for nearly three whole months preceding the surprise restraining order We received. Living & working out of a hotel for months, as a new father We were actively engaged in Our sons life nearly every day for the first seven months. At the time this was written, very shortly before the unexpected restraining order, We were both attending couples counseling & she led Us to believe she’d, “Never take Our son away like she did the others.” (Referring to her previous children & all their fathers.)
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