Premium Only Content

Jordan Peterson and John Gottman on healthy relationships
This model has been developed from over 30 years of observational and longitudinal research on communication differences between couples who stayed together, and ones who divorced.
Gottman wanted to find answers to the questions 1) “What makes a marriage last?” and 2) “What makes a marriage deteriorate?”
John Gottman can predict a couple’s potential for divorce in the next 5 years, with 97.5% accuracy, with only 5 variables!
Criticism: A statement that implies something is “globally wrong” with the partner (e.g., “always,” “never,” or a statement about personality).
Defensiveness: Used by one to ward off an attack from the other, defensiveness claims, “I am innocent.”
Contempt: The single best predictor of divorce, contempt is seeing oneself as superior to one’s partner.
Stonewalling: One person withdraws either physically or mentally from the interaction.
Failed repair attempts: When one partner tries to “make nice” and end the conflict, soothe the other, or soften a complaint and is not accepted by the other.
Rules to Soften Startup
Be concise. Keep the initial statement brief and to the point.
Complain but do NOT blame. Complain about a specific incident rather than blame or label.
Start with something positive. Pose problems by starting with something positive.
Use “I” instead of “You” statements. Start statements with “I” rather than “you” to avoid blaming and to increase personal responsibility.
Describe what is happening, rather than judge. Keep statements behavioral, rather than global.
Ask for what you need. Clearly describe the behavioral changes you desire.
Be polite and appreciative. Express appreciation for what your partner does do; be respectful.
Express vulnerable emotions. When possible, describe more vulnerable than blaming emotions.
-
LIVE
The Bubba Army
2 days agoTrump OBLITERATES Iran: What's Next? - Bubba the Love Sponge® Show | 6/23/25
6,447 watching -
20:58
GritsGG
16 hours agoFrying a Casual Solos Lobby! Pushing for 50 Kills!
16.9K7 -
LIVE
BEK TV
1 hour agoTrent Loos in the Morning 6/23/2025
353 watching -
2:16:18
Side Scrollers Podcast
2 days agoCONTENT NUKE GOES LEGAL, AI To REMAKE Classic Movies, Walter Day Interview | Side Scrollers Live
68.1K15 -
LIVE
Lofi Girl
2 years agolofi hip hop radio 📚 - beats to relax/study to
456 watching -
49:01
Anthony Pompliano
2 days ago $7.03 earnedBitcoiners Built Tether Into The Most Profitable Company Ever
41.7K8 -
1:49:44
Russell Brand
4 days agoTerrence Howard’s SHOCKING New Theory of Reality - SF599
240K75 -
6:36:43
DopeFrags
7 hours agoWe're just gamin'.. | Dope After Dark
11.9K1 -
LIVE
EleMentalMJ
5 hours agoSUNDAY FUNDAY! - Variety Gaming Stream
77 watching -
15:40
TimcastIRL
17 hours agoDemocrat Party Is DONE, Donors FLEE As Dems Face Approval Rating DISASTER
67.9K139